Champion from Ashes
by SunStar123
Summary: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion... Payson/Sasha Kaylie/Austin Kaylie/Nicky and more.
1. When It All Goes Down

**A/N** I've kind of had this story floating around in my head for a while now. I don't know what made me write it to begin with. Sometimes I tend to get way over my head, and I guess this is me getting over my head. So this all started when I watched the episode of Nationals last week. When I saw Payson break her back, I started thinking about how Sasha might have felt if when Payson broke her back, and if he helped with her recovery. So here comes me getting over my head and thinking that I could rewrite most of the plot starting from Nationals and try to work my way up all the way to the Olympics, so tell me what you think!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals broke more than just Payson's back, it broke her courage and confidence, leaving Sasha to build her back up, stronger than ever. A story of forbidden love, and what it means to be a true champion.<p>

* * *

><p>Sasha watched as Payson stepped up to the set of dredded uneven bars. He had never seen so much nervous energy radiating off of her before. She stood in front of them, uncertain, as if trying to mask a horrifying pain. Never before had he seen this side of Payson, one which almost made her seem vulnerable. He walked up and took his place beside her. She winced at his presence next to her. He could see that deep down, she knew she couldn't fool him that everything was okay.<p>

"Are you hurt?" he whispered, his voice low, so only she could hear. The last thing either of them wanted was for anyone in the competition to sense there was something wrong. She bit her lip and shook her head a tiny bit, trying to get away without words. Payson knew that if she spoke, her voice might fail her attempt of hiding the pain. When she noticed he wasn't buying it, she took a deep breath before beginning to speak.

"I'm fine." Her voice was small and hesitant, attempting to control how much she said. Sasha could see the color fading from her face as she spoke. She really was in pain, he just didn't know how much. She placed a hand at the small of her back and sucked in another deep breath. Sasha clenched his fists, trying not to reach out and wrap his arms around her and telling her she shouldn't risk it, but he knows that Payson Keeler was never going to let him pull her out of Nationals. She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"I'm ready," she murmured, her crystal blue eyes focusing in on the last apparatus holding her back from earning the title of National Champion. When he didn't move away from her, she looked up at him, her expression reading of both anxiety and pain, and gave him another nod, trying to assure him she was okay. Sasha felt like he had to make a life changing decision whether to let her compete or pull her out of the competition. She was in pain, it was a question of how much and whether she could handle doing her last routine. He could see Payson wasn't herself at all, which screamed warning, but he didn't know if that was enough justification for pulling her out of one of the biggest competitions of her life.

Unsure of whether he was making the right decision, he hesitantly took a step back, trying to read her face for any signs of discomfort. When there were none, he let her proceed with the routine. When the judges gave her the signal to begin her routine, Payson took a deep breath and unwarily sprung into action. From the mount, he could sense that he didn't make the right decision. Every movement had an uncertainty to it, something he wasn't used to seeing in Payson's routines.

Right as she launched herself to the high bar, her body stopped moving. Instead of soaring to catch the high bar, she plumaged towards the ground, unable to stop herself from falling down like a flightless bird. Sasha knew he couldn't get to her in time. He knew that he would never be able to take back what he had done. He knew that what was about to happen at that moment, was going to effectivly kill the chances of Payson's dream to the Olympics. Sasha knew he couldn't stop her from falling, or catch her in time.

He had to try. He had to try to save her dream. He has to try to keep her whole. But he was too late. He was too late to catch her limp body. He was too late at realizing how much pain she was really in. He was too late to save her dream. The moment she hit the mat, he heard her neck crunch under her body, as her spine bent itself into an odd position, even for a gymnast.

At that moment, Sasha felt a range of emotions flooding through him, taking every ounce of self control he had to not pull her contortioned body onto his lap and encircling his arms around her, pulling her into his chest. He felt anger at himself for not stopping her from doing the routine when she was clearly in pain. He felt scared for her dream, whether she would ever be able to do gymnastics, let alone walk ever again. He felt rage at her for not telling him how much her back really hurt to begin with, but the emotion that belittled all the other feelings over whelming him was one he least expected. Love.

At that very moment, he felt so much love for Payson that he didn't realize he always had. Deep down, a small part of him knew that he was playing a dangerous game loving his sixteen year old gymnast, but an overwhelmingly larger part of him didn't quite care. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms, and tell her everything was going to be okay. All he wanted to do was travel back a few moments before the disasterous routine and promise her that whatever happened, she was going to be okay. All he wanted to do was tell her he loved her.

Before anybody in the stadium could react, Sasha ran over and knelt down beside her, his eyes clouded with the wave of emotions. He watched as three shady men loaded Payson's body onto a gurney and rushed her out of the stadium. He ran beside her the entire way to the ambulance as they rolled her out. She opened her eyes and met his worried gaze, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Sasha," she croaked out, her voice cracking before she could finish. Sasha couldn't bear to see Payson this way. He could see in her eyes, how she felt, he could see the mixture of worry and fear. All he wanted to do was tell her he loved her, promise her he would always be there for her no matter what, but he knew that was something he could never say to her. He knew he didnt have the right to.

"It's okay Payson, you're going to the hospital, and everything is going to turn out okay." As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like he was lying to her. Nothing would ever be the same ever again, nothing was ever going to be okay. With an injury like Payson's, it was hard to say she would ever even be able to walk again, let alone put her body through intense training for the Olympics.

"Sasha," she murmured again, "I didn't take it." Before he could ask her what she was talking about, they rolled her into the ambulance, and zoomed away to the hospital.

A big part of Sasha wanted to do nothing more than be inside the ambulance with her, holding her smalled hand in his, hoping for the best, but he knew he had other duties to attend to right then. He still had three other promising young gymnasts to coach into the National Team that evening. He knew it was the right thing to do. He knew it's what Payson would have wanted him to do.

Keeping that in mind, he coached the remaining Rock girls into solid victory. Emily Kmetko was placed twelfth which earned her the last spot on the National Team. Lauren Tanner placed fourth place, which also assured her a place on the team, and to everybody's surprise, Kaylie Cruz swept gold and was named the National Champion, the title which was expected to be nailed by Payson.

That day was the most successful event of Sasha's coaching career, but he couldn't help but feel as if he had miserably failed. He failed to save Payson from a life altering injury. He failed to even see that she was in the emense amount of pain she was in, and let her continue to do a stunt which required her to put a lot of pressure on her body.

Sasha knew Nationals would be credited as one of his biggest accomplishments, but he felt like it was one of his worst nightmares. He didn't care that everyone around him was happy, there was a sadness lying in the bottom of his heart that would never disappear. Even though that day was filled was joy and delight for everyone surrounding him, Sasha Belov's heart was slowly withering away in Room 216, prepping for back surgery.

* * *

><p><strong>AN** I know this story might be a little too ambigious, but I'm going to try my best on it. I'm trying not to second guess myself here, so tell me what you think about the idea! Next chapter is going to be Sasha visiting Payson at the hospital. As always, R&R!


	2. Champion at Heart

**A/N: **For any one who has reviewed this story and is following this, a big thanks! Thank you a _million_ times to lda-cullen and Paysha for your reviews! Your reviews keep me going! For anybody who hasn't reviewed, it would make me utterly happy if you did after reading this chapter!

This was a chapter that I felt was missing from the episode where Payson was in the hospital. I loved that the girls were there to see Payson right when she got out of surgery, but I was very upset that they didn't mention Sasha till Payson visited the Rock. It was have been a really bitter sweet moment if they had shown Sasha visit her, so that's what this chapter is all about.

I'm going to try to post a new chapter every week or at worst case every other week, but because of this hurricane blowing by, I don't think I can do that this week. So please, just hang in there, I will do an update later than planned :D

Lastly, does anybody know if Season 3 is renewed yet? I'm just dying to know if they are going to renew it. I was really upset that Make it or Break it didn't win favorite show on the Teen Choice Awards! Please let me know if there is any news on Season 3! Okay, I'll stop talking so you can read now. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>"The desire to never leave your side, the desire to never see you again. The desire to see your face asleep on the pillow beside my face and to see your eyes open in the morning when I lie next to you—just watching you, waiting for you to wake up."<em>

_**Chapter 1**_

Sasha's foot was tapping against the cold concrete at eighty miles per hours, as he anxiously awaited to hear Payson's diagnostic. He couldn't remember the last time he was this restless. He had been rubbing his clammy hands together for so long; the old rips from the hard days at the gym were exposed once again. Squeezing his tired eyes shut, he rubbed a hand roughly over his face. Sasha had been trying to pass by the agonizing time by counting, starting from one, not that it had been doing any significant good.

_Three thousand seven hundred twenty six, three thousand seven hundred twenty seven. _

Ever since Sasha was a little boy, he never could stand the hospital. Every time he stepped into one, the smell of antibiotics and disinfectants overwhelmed his senses, leaving him with ten solid minutes before running out, gasping for non toxic air. No much had changed as he grew up, but something was different about this time. No matter how hard he tried to force himself to go back to the Airstream, and come back when Kim gave him a call, he just couldn't leave. There was a small part of him that kept him at a close distance next to Payson's room, as if he was chained to the plastic chairs in the waiting area.

_Three thousand seven hundred forty nine, three thousand seven hundred fifty. _

Somehow he had managed to sit in the uncomfortable plastic chair for the past four and a half hours, while a very desparate receptionist had been ogling him since the moment he stepped into the waiting room. All the possibilities of what could have happened wrong through the operation hammered his skull and he was aching for the operation to be over so he could go see her. Even trying his hardest, Sasha couldn't get the image of Payson crumbling to the ground, head first, onto the cold gym mats, out of his head. That exact moment, he had finally realized what he had been denying to himself for months. He loved her with all his heart, more than he ever knew was possible.

"You okay there?" Kim Keeler's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, as she approached him with a cup of steaming hot tea. Taking one look at her, he could see she was fighting the same war he was. Just like his, her eyes were rimmed red and were drooped and her hair was in disray, which much resembled the birds nest which rested on top of the Airstream. She took the seat beside him and handed him the cup. Sasha hesitated for a moment, debating whether he should instruct her to drink it herself, but he was cut off when she pushed the cup into his hand. He took a sip and waited for her to speak.

"The doctor says that Payson can have visitors now, but she won't wake up for another couple of hours, she's on a lot of sedatives and it's going to take a while to wear off. You're welcome to visit her now if you'd like, or you can wait till later when she wakes." Sasha jumped at the chance and nodded desperatly. Sasha knew he couldn't take any longer before seeing her, he just had to see if how Payson really was. Ever since the accident, he couldn't help but feel as if his heart had been ripped out, and till he saw Payson, he knew the sadness stirring at the bottom of his heart would not be appeased.

"I think I'd like to see her right now." His voice sounded more desperate than professional, but he didn't care enough to change it. Kim sent him a sad smile and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"The doctor says that they saved her right in time, and that she can walk." As the words left Kim's mouth, tears started spilling from her eyes once again. Sasha let out a sigh of relief and the cornors of his lips twitched up.

"That's really good to hear Kim, when can she train again?" Kim took a shaky breath and met his gaze, there were an endless stream of tears sliding from her red tinted eyes. Suddenly Sasha understood the underlying meaning of her words. Payson could walk, but probably never train again. His suspicions were right, and it probably was one of the worst case scenarios he had dreamt of in these past few hours.

"Sasha, I said Payson can walk again. The doctor said that if Payson ever does gymnastics again, she could lose her ability to do that too." She barely finished her sentence before she broke into loud sobs. Tears were rolling down her cheeks faster than before. She ran a hand through her disheveled hair, attempting to push it away from her face and sunk into the near by chair.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell her," she continued, "how am I supposed to tell her that she killed any chance of achieving her dream?" Sasha didn't know what to say. He had run the possibility through his head, but never took a chance to think that it might become a reality. Did this mean this was it? This was the end of Payson Keeler's journey to the Olympics? His heart sunk. Kim was right, how was anybody supposed to address this to Payson. After several minutes of earth shattering silence, Sasha knew what he was supposed to do. He slowly shifted his gaze from his worn out tennis shoes to Kim's eyes.

"Kim, I'm her coach. I'm the one who should have pulled her out of Nationals as soon as I figured out that she was in pain. I took the risk of keeping her in, even though I sensed that something was terribly wrong. If anyone is supposed to tell her that her dream is over, it's going to be me." For the first time that day, Sasha knew this was the right thing to do. There was no doubt and no going back. He was to blame for ending her career, and he was the one who was going to take the lashing for it.

"Sasha…" she trailed off, "you don't have to. Mark and I can do this together." Sasha quickly shook his head, waving her thought away. If he knew Payson, he knew she would fall apart, and he knew that was the last thing Kim and Mark needed to witness.

"I have to Kim, this isn't an option. I feel like this the least of what I owe her, and you." Before Kim could find the strength to argue, he slipped past her into Room 216. Again, he tried to imagine the worst possible scenario of what she might look like when he stepped into the room. As the door creaked open, and the moment his eyes hit her body, tears welled up in his eyes. Payson looked like she had gotten caught in the middle of an elephant stampede; but somehow, unlike in his worst possible scenarios, she also never looked more calm and serene.

She had a back brace keeping her in place, and a neck brace cushioning her previously crushed neck which probably did fit the description, but in a way, she looked like an angel. Her thick golden locks of hair was splayed across the pillow, and the sunlight from the nearby window bouncing off the light of her milky skin. She really could have been mistaken for being an angel. From her white hospital gown to her soft pink lips, Payson could never have looked more perfect. Sasha ambled over to her side and took a seat beside her. Taking her incredibly tiny hand in his, he stroked a patch of skin with his callused thumb, intertwining their fingers, bringing the skin to his lips.

"Payson Keeler, I will never leave your side as long as I live. This I swear to you, ibuito." He felt a tear roll down his cheek and hit her hand. What did Payson Keeler ever do to deserve this? He knew this was mostly his fault, with no one else to blame. There was no excuse for not taking her out of the competition. She would have most likely still made the National Team without her bar routine, and even if she didn't, he could have helped her find another way to the Olympics. He made a gut choice by letting her compete and it ended with disastrous results. Who else could be blamed?

For hours, he sat, waiting for his champion to wake. Most people knew and acknowledged that Payson was a champion by hard work and perseverance. What most people didn't know was that she was a champion at heart. She never let anybody say no, and she knew that she could do anything. Nothing ever got in her way because she didn't let anything take her mind away from what was important. No matter what comes next, Sasha was going to be there to protect her, because she was more than just another gymnast. She was a true champion at heart.

#

After having drifted to blissful sleep, Sasha stirred awake when he felt a small tug at his hands. His eyes flickered open to see Payson smiling weakly at him; her big blue eyes glistening with tears, but her expression unreadable. Sasha quickly tightened his grip on her hand. Reaching out, he brushed a few strands of rouge blonde hair off her velvet like skin and offered her a warm smile.

"Sasha, I…" her breath got caught in her throat before she could continue. He slowly shook his head, trying to forbid her from speaking. He knew she shouldn't be wasting too much energy speaking in this condition, and he also knew that when he broke the news about her gymnastics, that's going to take up all her energy just attempting to cope with it.

"Payson, I'm so sorry I let you go through with this. I should have pulled you out of the competition as soon as I realized there was something wrong. I listened to you when you said you were fine and I shouldn't have just taken your word for it. This," he motioned around the room, "wouldn't have happened if I had stuck with my guns about you being in pain. I'm so sorry." She quickly shook her head, denying his assumption of who to blame. Payson couldn't stand it whenever Sasha decided to play the blame game, because somehow, he always ends up convincing himself that it's his entire fault for any misfortune that happens at the Rock.

"Sasha, I should have told you up front that my back wasn't doing well instead of denying the pain. I tried to hide it from you, and that's something an athlete should never have done. If anyone is to blame for this, it's me." A tear escaped the corner of her eye. There was a familiar silence between them, where they did nothing but soak in each other's presence. Sasha planned to argue, but he couldn't. If him being silent made her remain calm, he would do it. Finally, Payson opened her mouth and broke the silence.

"I didn't take it," she said, repeating her earlier words from the stadium. Sasha hadn't quite understood it the first time she said it, even after running it in his head a few hundred times. Finally, giving up trying to formulate the meaning, Sasha gave up trying to play cool and asked her what she meant. There were about a million possibilities that zipped through his head about what she was talking about, and almost all of them made him more than just a little angry if it had to do with the pain she was in.

"Payson, what didn't you take?" his voice was full of concern as another tear escaped her eye.

"Nicky stole some cortisone from his dad's office and gave me a vial before Nationals. I didn't take it," she finished so quickly, it barely gave Sasha time to think about it. The blood in Sasha's veins reached maximum boiling point. He always knew that Nicky Russo had a little crush on Payson, but if he really cared a bit about her, he would have advised her to find a safer way around the pain, or just come up front and tell Sasha about it.

_How could Russo smuggled her drugs? How smart do you need to be to figure out that's about the dumbest thing for a person to do?_

"Sasha, don't be mad at him. I'm the one who made him do it; I even paid him for it. It's not his fault." A few more tears escaped her swollen eyes and a small sob escaped from her perfect lips. He reached out and wiped her tears away, caressing her cheek with his fingertips.

"Don't cry Payson. I'm sorry; I'm not going to do anything to Nicky. Okay? Please don't cry dragul meu." He pulled her in for an awkward hug, her back brace almost making it impossible for a normal embrace. Eventually, after a few moments of shifting, she fit into his arms like a puzzle piece. They simply sat for what seemed like forever, relishing the feel of each other. Her silent tears rapidly turned into small sobs, shaking her entire body. Sasha pulled Payson's fragile body into his lap and gathered her together into his chest. She automatically wrapped her arms around his large torso, burying her face into his chest. Payson felt safe in Sasha's arms; it felt like she was meant to be there, not that anybody would agree. She felt like Sasha's mere presence was enough for her to make it through anything.

Sasha simply held her there, stroking her hair, letting her calm down. He knew that she was in a really fragile state, and didn't want to do anything to upset her. After a few moments, she pulled away and looked into his eyes, her face swollen with tears. Her hair was caked to her face by tears staining her silky skin. Even then, Payson never looked more beautiful. No matter how hard he tried to shake the thought out of his mind, it just wasn't possible.

"Sasha, when can I train again?" she mumbled. Sasha opened his mouth, but no words came out. He hadn't prepared how he was going to tell her the horrible news. There was so much he had to figure out how to say before actually being confronted about this. He could see her starting to fret as soon as he didn't say anything, so he turned away to hide his pained expression, looking out the window as if it held the answer he was looking for.

"Sasha, I said tell me when I can train. I know the doctors have a back and neck brace on me, but it's going to heal in time for the Olympics," she trailed off, realization dawning her angelic features, "right?" When he didn't respond, she pressed her rosy lips in a straight line. "Sasha?" Her voice came out barely a whisper. It broke Sasha to hear the excruciating pain in her voice. He eventually gathered up the courage to what he was going to say and shifted his gaze back to Payson. he took her face in his hands, and he pressed a small kiss to the crown of her head, one that wouldn't be mistaken for anything more than comfort, but he knew Payson didn't care at the moment; she was trying to cope with something more life changing. She fisted the cotton of Sasha's shirt in her tiny hands and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears from flowing so freely.

"Payson, when I tell you this, I want you to know that no matter what, I'm going to be here for you, okay?" she started shaking her head in disbelief. Before she could cut me off, I continued.

"Payson, ibuito, the doctor says that your back isn't stable enough. If you ever do gymnastics again, you might lose your ability to walk." Before he could finish, tears were flowing down Payson's cheeks like a never ending river. "Payson, I'm sorry dragul meu"

"Sasha, you know I can do it. You know I can do gymnastics without losing my ability to walk. This is my life, and I know I can do it. Please Sasha," she swallowed thickly and looked down at her hands which were settled on his chest, purposefully avoiding his gaze, "tell me I can do it." Before he knew it, tears were freely flowing from his eyes too. Sasha took her face in his hands once again and pressed their foreheads together, forcing her to look into his eyes. A shock went through Payson's body. She never thought in a million years Sasha would ever be this close to her, deliberately.

"Payson, if anyone believes you can do it, it's me, but I will never let you risk your life for anything _ever_ again," he looked at her pained expression, "your life is too precious for that ibuito." Payson shook her head, denying it, before crumbling back into Sasha's arms. It broke his heart to see her like this, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, but he would never let her throw caution out the window ever again. He loved her too much for that.

For what seemed like hours, Payson remained in Sasha's arms, pressed against his chest. Her fingers lingered at the fabric of his shirt as she fiddled with a button and Sasha's hand rested on the curve of her hip. Sasha knew this wasn't right, he didn't have the right to have feelings like this for Payson. He wasn't allowed to love her. She was just a vulnerable sixteen year old, but Sasha couldn't help but feel as if Payson was different. Payson wasn't just another sixteen year old. She had gone through things no sixteen year would ever go through. She had a career unlike any normal sixteen year old. That was no justification for loving her, it would still be frowned upon by more than just a handful of people. Anyone who took a glance at them could see they were meant to be together, not that they would be willing to admit it.

Payson placed her hands flat on Sasha's chest and took a deep breath, taking in his scent. Sasha had a unique scent, which smelled like a blend of cedar and aftershave, it was almost intoxicating. Payson glanced up when his muscled chest flexed under her touch. Sasha couldn't help but feel like she was his weakness, yet she had no idea what she did to him. Each little touch drove him insane, and now? She was pressed into his body. Sasha really did want to keep a distance, he really did; but he loved Payson too much to do it.

He wanted to leave and never look back the first day he entered the Rock and his eyes fell on Payson. Sasha was always known for getting what he wanted, whether it was the newest six foot blonde model from Paris or four Olympic gold medals. The moment he laid eyes on Payson, he couldn't help but want _her_. He wanted to sift his hands through her silky blonde hair. He wanted to caress her bare skin till she melted like butter in his arms. He wanted to feel her arch against him and chant his name like a prayer. Sasha sat in the office with the arguing parents and thought about whether it was worth it. He has always wanted to coach Payson Keeler, but seeing her in person, he felt like he couldn't control how much he really wanted her.

So he would leave, a noble decision. Sasha hiked out of the Rock, not sparing Payson another glance. He made it to his truck when his noble decision was broken. Sasha couldn't say no to the girl who took his breath away the moment he laid eyes on her. He couldn't say no when she begged him to stay, no matter how hard he tried. So he would push those feelings away to the part of his heart he never paid attention to, after all, she was only a sixteen year old girl. He might have pushed those feelings away a long time ago, but watching her fall just dug those feelings right back up from the hole he hid them in.

Payson tugged lightly at Sasha's shirt, pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked down at her with a warm smile settled on his face. Right then, looking into her big blue eyes; Sasha was ready to take on the world if it means keeping the genuine smile on her face.

"Did you mean what you said?" her voice was so small, he could barely believe it was Payson's. Payson had always sounded so strong and confident. This voice sounded like it belonged to an innocent, almost vulnerable little girl. Her eyes fixed themselves back on her hands, avoiding his gaze. Sasha lifted her face to meet his eyes using his index finger.

"Did I mean what?" Sasha whispered, his lips ghosting over hers, but doing nothing more. His warm breath tickled the skin and she couldn't help but flickered her eyes shut, trying to hold onto the feeling of him being so close. When she did, Sasha felt an overwhelming urge to press his lips to hers. For a moment, he let himself believe that this was normal. He craned his face down towards hers, not fully realizing what he was doing. Payson was like a siren, and it was truly enough to make Sasha a mad man.

Before their lips could meet, Sasha snapped out of her siren's song. He quickly pulled back and cleared his throat, shaking her out of her daze. Sasha knew that this was crossing a line. If anybody walked in on them at that moment, wrong conclusions could be drawn; stripping Payson of any innocence she was known for. The image they were presenting was nothing that could be mistaken for a coach comforting his athlete; it was a girl seeking the condolence from the man she loved. Payson's cheeks flushed and she tried to find a way to change the tenseness.

"Did you mean that no matter what, you would be here for me?" she asked fast, trying to change the awkward atmosphere. Sasha swallowed harshly and met Payson's clear blue eyes. He lifted his hand, his fingers tracing Payson's jaw line and smiled.

"Of course, I don't know how my life would be without the great Payson Keeler around," he said with a smug smile, trying to joke the moment away. Clearly his attempt didn't work. Payson wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled the juncture between his shoulder and neck, sending a shudder through his body. Sasha knew this was wrong and moved his hands to her waist to push her away, but couldn't find the strength to. Before he knew it, he pulled her in even closer, leaving less than an inch between their bodies.

"I thought," she paused, trying to hold back more tears, "I thought nobody would want me around since I'm not a champion anymore." At her words, Sasha pulled her body flush against his, trying to wash the idea away from Payson's mind. He could feel her heartbeat racing against his skin, the warmth of her skin radiating through the thin fabric of their shirts.

They both remained silent, not wanting to break the delicate silence they had accumulated. Before either of them could speak a word, Becca walked into the room, looking like she hadn't gotten any sleep since Nationals. Payson swiftly pulled away from Sasha's body, threw herself out of Sasha's lap and turned to Becca all in one motion. None of them spoke. Payson looked as though she was about to jump off the bed and ambush Becca, while Becca looked like she was about to have a major melt down. Sasha sat still, ready to comfort whoever was going to break down first.

"Should I come back later?" she asked, turning towards the door, "I don't want to disturb you two..." her voice drifted off as she eyed both Payson and Sasha, more confused than suspicious. Sasha flickered his gaze to Payson who shook her head.

"No, Becca stay," she said plastering a smile on her face. Becca nodded and bit her bottom lip. Again, a silence fell over them.

"Pay," Becca started, unsure of what to say. Her blue eyes were just as big as Payson's were when she was upset. Sasha noticed that she was still wearing her leo from Nationals under her warm up clothes. Payson sent her a small smile and motioned for her to come closer. Becca obligated, moving closer, but not close enough to touch.

"How did you do at Nationals, Bec? Did you kill the competition?" Sasha could see the pain grow in Becca's eyes as Payson mentioned Nationals. She slowly nodded and started to dig around her pocket. When she found what she was looking for, she slowly pulled out a medal and handed it to Payson, a tear escaping the eye farthest from Payson. She quickly wiped it away, before Payson noticed. Payson took the medal and read the inscription. She pressed her lips in a thin line, blinking away tears threatening to fall.

"Good job Bec, did you make it on the Junior National Team?" she nodded slowly, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Becca don't cry," instructed Payson, "it's not worth it. I'm not dead I'm here. Life is going to go and be the same, just no gymnastics for me. See? Even Sasha's here. Nothing is going to change, we're all in this together and I want you to go out there and put your heart and soul into gymnastics, okay? For both you and me." Before Payson could finish her long winded speech, Becca pulled her into a huge embrace along with Sasha, and the dam of tears Payson was holding back finally broke.

Sasha had never felt so broken in his life. Seeing Payson in this much pain made him feel completely helpless, like there was nothing in the world that he could do to make her feel whole again. Gymnastics was a major part of her life. It was more than just a sport to her, it was part of who she was, and letting that go is going to be the biggest obstacle she is going to have to overcome in order to make sense of her life again. Sasha didn't know how to make her feel well again, but he knew one thing. He knew that no matter what, he was never going to leave her side. He was going to make her feel whole again, with or without gymnastics.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **Finally, my heart is satisfied that the hospital chapter is written. The next chapter is going to be about Payson trying her best to cope with her injury, and Sasha slowly helping her through it. I might not get to update this weekend like I had originally planned because of this whole hurricane thing.

I'm trying to keep my cool about this whole hurricane thing but it really sucks. I'm SO sad that I'm not going to be able to write anything because of it! Fingers crossed it doesn't hit us too bad and I'll be able to keep my writing going! Tell me what you thought about this chapter! I wish everyone who reads this would review it ;) Hope you like it!


	3. Fragile

**A/N **Sorry for the long wait guys! High school just started and I've been super busy! I've been trying to write as much as I can, including at school, but it just took forever. The first couple of weeks are going to take some getting used to I guess!

Okay, so this chapter was about mostly Kaylie and Payson, and how they're taking the aftermath of Nationals. Obviously, Payson bad and Kaylie good. I'm going to vaugely follow the story line of the show on Kaylie. I don't think I'm going to mention too much on the whole Carter situation, but let's see where this story goes!

Thank you lda-cullen, livliv98 and Egyptian Kiss for your reviews! They really keep my going! For anybody who didn't review, pretty please review this chapter! I'll let you read now.

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals broke more than just Payson's back, it broke her courage and confidence, leaving Sasha to build her back up, stronger than ever. A story of forbidden love, and what it means to be a true champion.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us."<em>

**_Chapter 2 _**

Kim watched as Payson slowly made her way down the stairs. One step at a time, just like when she was three, except this time it wasn't because her feet were too small, it was because she was as fragile as a china doll. Knowing Payson, that would be the last thing she would want people to think of her as, weak.

It killed her to know that her daughter was forced to give up her dream. Payson had always been so strong headed, not wanting anything to get in the way of her dreams, but this time it was different. Payson was ready to risk her life to continue doing whatever it took to reach her dream, but anybody who cared about her would never let her risk her life for it, and that aggravated her. More than she was ever willing to admit.

"Hey Pay, how are you?" Kim offers, trying to spark up a conversation longer than their usual nod of acknowledgment. Payson looked at Kim with a plastered smile and slowly opened her mouth to speak,

"I'm doing great." She flashed another media darling smile and made her way to her breakfast. She picked up her Honey Nut Cheerios and poured it into a small bowl. Everything looked so much harder for Payson, she could barely bend over more than 80 degrees without being restricted by her back brace. She was knocked out of her thoughts when Kim reached out and pulled Payson into her arms. Kim could feel her stiffen in her embrace. Startled, she dropped her bowl of cereal on the ground. Slowly, Payson tried to manuver herself down to the ground to clean up the mess. When she bent over, she could barely reach the length of her knees, let alone the floor. Realization took over her system that she couldn't bend over completly, causing a tear to escape her eye and land on the spoon which was settled next to her feet.

"Oh Pay, let me get it," Kim said, bending over to pick up the stray pieces of Cheerios. Payson started shaking with anger, still avoiding Kim's eyes. Kim didn't know whether she should be giving her daughter space, or making her talk about. It killed her to see Payson like this, so broken and without a purpose as Payson mentioned. When she met Payson's eyes, she expected to see a mixture of anger and sadness, but instead, she saw... happiness? Payson still had a smile on her face and stood back up straight.

"Okay, I'll go get you the broom!" she slowly made her way out of the kitchen. Kim twisted her lips into a grimance.

"Pay, I'm your mom, you don't need to pretend with me, you can give me a real answer when I ask you what's wrong," said Kim, searching for any signs of sadness in Payson's eyes. Nothing.

"Why would I be sad! Nothing's wrong! I can finally focus on things other than my gymnastics! Plus I can eat all the food I want!" Another smile. She was waiting for the day Payson was going to finally snap out of the denial phase. She watched at Payson slowly made her way out of the kitchen, into the living room and settled herself onto the couch. The last thing any mother wanted to see was her child in pain. The only thing worse that watching Payson crunch her spine like a bag of potato chips was watching her go through day by day as though walking on broken glass.

"Mom! Do I need to go to the Rock today? Sasha's all cranky without Payson there to settle him down and I'm not up for a grilling practice today... so can I go to the movies with my friends?" asked Becca, as she ran into the kitchen. Kim looked up at her second daughter. There was so much different between the two Keeler girls, that sometimes she wondered how the two were related. Payson was so focused and driven towards her dream, so much that sometimes Kim felt like she was missing out on a normal life. On the other hand, Becca was all about being a normal teenager, she didn't have the drive or motivation that Payson aquired. Never the less she loved them both unconditionally.

"Sasha was cranky?" A third voice joined in again. Both her and Becca turned to find Payson looking at them with a glint in her eye, curiousity. Something nobody had seen in her eyes in a while. Becca nodded holding her cellphone out to Payson.

"Maybe if you call him he'd give _us_ a break?" Becca suggested, wagging her eyebrows. For a moment, Kim thought she saw a smile spark on Payson's face, but the moment was gone before it even started. Her smile disappeared just as fast as it had appeared. Reaching out to the phone, she suddenly stopped and shook her head; indicating it was a bad idea.

"Pay, do you want to go see him?" Suddenly, Kim realized how suggestive the comment had sounded, "the Rock? Do you want to go see the Rock," she corrected. Payson shook her head again.

"Bad idea, I'm going to go take a nap." She slowly made her way out, once again. Kim really wished that there was something, anything, she could do to make the happiness play on her daughter's face again. Maybe there _was_ something she could do. She quickly started scrambling around for her car keys. When she couldn't find them, she settled for the phone. Dialing for the one person she was looking for, she patiently waited as the numerous rings went by. Finally, when the scruffy voice answered at the other end, she couldn't help but smile.

"Hey Sasha, it's Kim."

#

"Move your chin higher Kaylie! I want to capture the light bouncing off that shimmering skin of yours!" yelled the middle aged photographer in a heavy Italian accent. Kaylie obligated and lifted her chin. This was the life. Kaylie Cruz was finally recognized as more than just a pretty face. She was the National Champ, and boy did she earn it. This felt just right. Kaylie was shooting the March issue of Seventeen Magazine along with silver medalist, Nicky Russo. Though shooting for the magazine itself was fun, she could sense the awkwardness between Nicky and herself. Standing on a beam wearing a $12,000 Pnina Tornai gown like a bride was no fun when the groom wouldn't play along with the fun.

"Can I go now?" asked Nicky, clearly looking more irritated by the second, "I need to train." Kaylie rolled her eyes. Couldn't he just be happy that Nationals were finally over and live in the glory for a while?

"Nicky, just shut up and take a few more shots," Kaylie spit through her teeth, her smile remaining intact as she spoke. Nicky cut off her sickly sweet smile with his deadly glare. She let out a deep breath and looked down at him. "What?" He rolled his eyes, clearly sick of putting up with her. Kaylie had never felt that feeling before. No guy has ever been _tired_ of Kaylie Cruz.

"I need to train. You do too. Not that you would understand, Payson would have." Kaylie cringed at the mention of Payson. She had been piling up one excuse at a time, finding a way to avoid Payson like the plague. She knew she should go talk to her, it would have been the right thing to do, but the truth was, she was scared. She was scared that she wouldn't know what to say. She was scared that Payson would be mad at her, but most of all, she was scared that she might doubt her victory if she saw Payson.

There was a small doubt of question that stirred around in the pit of Kaylie's stomach. She felt like there was no way she could have won Nationals if Payson was there. She tried to live in the moment, but there was a part of her that made her feel like an imposter. Part of her mind screamed at her that she was an imposter, a fraud; and seeing Payson might just comfirm her suspicions. She looked down at Nicky, trying to hide the self doubt.

"Stop raving about Payson for a single minute will you? Everybody knows she would have become National Champ, but deal with it that I deserved it too. If you care about her so much, then why don't you go visit her like everyone else who cares about her did?" spit out Kaylie. Nicky must have sensed her doubt because he let go of the hand he was holding and smirked.

"You havn't seen her yet have you?" Kaylie shifted her gaze to her feet and Nicky barked out a laugh. "Good job princess, and you were saying I don't care about her?" A flush creeped up Kaylie's cheek. Her olive skin tinted into a pale pink. She supposed she deserved that. After all, she was the one who started the who cares about who game with the one boy in the gym who was really in love with Payson.

"You guys have to get out now, if Sasha Belov gets here and sees you, he's going to be extremly mad!" Kaylie turned to see little Summer Van Horne trying to reason with the gruff camera man, who was too busy scratching his scruffy beard to pay attention to her little voice. She stompted her feet angrily on the ground and marched back towards the office. Soon, an angry voice echoed through the gym.

"EVERYBODY OUT!" Everybody flinched at the thick British accent, but nobody moved. Aggravated, Sasha cried out again, "If I wasn't clear before, GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF HERE, _NOW!"_ Within minutes, all the members of Seventeen Magazine and photographers scat out of the Rock like their lives depended on it. Charming. Sasha Belov really knew how to get things done. Kaylie hopped off the beam and stomped towards the locker room. Even when she wins Nationals she can't have a moment of glory to herself.

"So any particular reason why you're avoiding Payson?" Kaylie's head snapped up to Nicky's presence hovering over her. She felt like she was about to melt under his intense gaze. Shaking her head, she let out a sigh.

"None of your buisness." She defensivly crossed her arms around her chest. Nicky raised his arms in surrender and chuckled.

"Okay princess, but I'm sure you'll feel a lot better if you go talk to her." Kaylie met his eyes and her scowl slowly transformed into a smile.

"Thanks," her voice trailed off, and before she could reply; he was to the other side of the gym, chalking up his callused hands. Maybe he had a point. Maybe the little voice in her head would shut up if she just had closure with Payson. She mindlessly walked into the locker room and stripped off her clothes, pulling on a leotard. When she walked out, Sasha was standing in front of the beam, wearing a very familiar scowl that was directed to Kaylie. He had been that way ever since Nationals, probably because of what happened to Payson. Couldn't he be happy for Kaylie? It was always about Payson, all the time. She made her way over to him and hopped onto the beam without saying a word.

"Did I not tell you to get those camera flashing baboons out of here before training started?" Kaylie started some leaps before answering.

"Sorry, lost track of time," she simply stated before trying a double illution turn. Throwing her momentum forward too fast, she solidly landed on her butt. Sasha stood over her, his arms crossed and jaw clenched.

"You need to drop the diva act Kaylie. You might be National Champion, but you need to convince me you deserve it. That mean 100% gymnastics all the time, just like..." his voice trailed off as he got lost in his thoughts, "Payson always was." He looked at the ground and let out a sigh. "Just work on the double illution turn. You have absolutly no control on it," he whispered, his voice suddenly filled with regret and dismay. Kaylie had no control over anything. Even when she took the title of National Champ, she was compared to the great Payson Keeler. She groaned. Kaylie was going to gather her thoughts and go see Payson today; she needed closure. The thought made the voice in her head scream louder than ever.

_No matter what happens, Payson's always going to be the real deal, you're just a fluke_.

#

Payson settled herself in between two large pillows. With a giant cup of hot choclate in one hand, she curled up into her giant comforter. Payson felt like she was in a daze, like any minute she would wake up from the wretched nightmare, pull on a leotard, and go to an intense day of training at the Rock. Everything seemed so blurry and numb, and all she wanted to do was wake up. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard her phone vibrating. Reaching out, she grabbed it off the night stand. Her phone had been going off almost all day. Incoming call from...

Sasha Belov.

The picture of him that popped up was almost smoldering. From his icy blue eyes to the stubble on his cheek, he looked perfect. For a moment, Payson's finger inched towards the answer button, but she reminded herself to press ignore. After the hospital, Payson couldn't bear talking to Sasha. Everytime the thought of him came knocking at her mind, a flush creeped up her neck faster than she could snap herself back to reality. A knock on the door.

"Come in," Payson mumbled, not quite sure who was at the door at this hour. In stepped Kaylie Cruz, wearing her signature pink track suit over a leotard. Payson froze. The one and only person she couldn't bear seeing.

"Hi Pay," she murmured with a small smile. This was going to be a long awkward conversation and Payson knew it. She closed her eyes and imagined she was the best again, life was back to normal. It was so easy to fake being normal around Emily and Lauren, but seeing Kaylie just made Payson's blood run cold. Kaylie had everything. Money, boys, charm, and anything she ever wished for; but it didn't matter to Payson because she always had the one thing Kaylie didn't: a gold medal. Kaylie might have had everything else, but she didn't have one thing. Being number one. That was Payson's, but now that was Kaylie's too.

"Hi," she let the tense silence set over them. Kaylie fiddled with her fingers, trying to figure out something to say.

"How are you?" she asked, trying to spark a conversation. Payson internally rolled her eyes, raising her eye brows at Kaylie. "Right, back brace. How's your back?" Payson shrugged taking a sip out of her hot chocolate as if nothing had changed.

"I'm sorry Payson, I should have come earlier, but I've been busy. Actually I just didn't know what I would say to you. I mean, I've had a tough time. Everybody just expects so much out of me, and I don't know what to do. You know what it feels like don't you Pay?" When the words left Kaylie's mouth, it snapped something inside of Payson.

"You know what Kaylie, I don't. I don't know what it feels like. Now if you excuse me, I need to rest my back." She turned her back to Kaylie and gently craned herself onto the mattress.

"Pay..." Kaylie rested a hand on Payson's shoulder, which she shook off almost instantly. The contact made Payson fill with rage, even though she knew it was wrong.

"Good night Kaylie," she hissed through her teeth coldly. She was so mad at Kaylie, and she knew she didn't deserve it. Kaylie didn't deserve it, but Payson couldn't help it. Life isn't always fair, and Payson was living proof of it. She didn't deserve to be lying in bed while everyone around her chased their dreams down. She felt so alone in the world. Payson didn't know who else to talk to. She slipped her cell phone back into her hand and fired a text. Desparate times call for desparate measures.

#

Five hours of going back and forth from the floor to the office can really kill a man, no matter how many gold medals he won in Sydney. Sasha had spent all day half mindedly training with Emily and calling Payson by the hour. Payson was at a crucial obstacle in her life, and she needed to know she wasn't alone if she ever wanted to get through it. However, Payson was being Payson. She was shutting everybody out and trying to figure it all out by herself, which worried Sasha more than it should. Right when he had officially lost his mind completly, he got a text from her.

_Please come by, if you want to that is... It would be nice to have someone to talk to _

Sasha could have jumped for joy that very moment, but decided to wait it out to see how this would go before he did. Almost immediatly after training, he went to see Payson. When he stood outside her doorstep, suddenly he felt as if he got cold feet. What would Payson's parents think of him randomly showing up at their door step? Well, Kim had made it perfectly clear she wanted Sasha to come visit when he recieved a call that morning, but would it be weird for Becca? Before he could gather the courage to knock, Becca threw the door open to find Sasha flustered at the door step.

"Sasha?" Becca tilted her head in confusion. "Was I supposed to come to late training or something?" Sasha smiled and shook his head.

"Or something. I came by to see Payson, if that's okay with you..." he trailed off. Becca let out a sigh of relief and opened the door completly for him to come inside.

"For a moment there, I thought you were going to make me do a hundred push ups or something," she said with a playful smile. Sasha barked out a laugh.

"Don't give me ideas little Keeler, and how big a dictator do you think I am?" he asked, his tone reading more of amusment than anger. Becca led him upstairs, gesturing for him to follow.

"Like Hitler with abs," Becca muttered under her breath. Sasha liked to keep his gymnasts on the edge. Being able to scare the crap out of them on the spot was just a bonus that came along with it.

"There you go, that's Payson's room. I should warn you, I think she's upset about something because Kaylie showed up and she practically ran out in tears when she left," she bit her lip and looked down at the carpet, "can I ask you something?"

"Anything," Sasha replied, eyeing Becca suspiciosly.

"Do you think Payson is ever going to be normal again? Like actually normal?" Sasha sighed. The truth was, he didn't know. He loved Payson so much, and it broke him to hear Becca admit that Payson wasn't herself.

"I don't know Becca, but I will do everything of my power to help her through this, okay?" Becca smiled slightly and nodded.

"Go on in coach, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you," she said as she lightened the mood with a cheesy wink. Sasha chuckled and gave her a tight smile as proceeded into the room. One thought crossed his mind when he entered. Purple. He supposed he should have expected that. He shifted his gaze to Payson's body curled up on the center of the matress, lightly pounding her head against it in anger. It absolutly broke his heart to see his champion like that. He walked over and lightly stroking her long blonde hair, slightly twisting his fingers through the top layer.

"Hey Payson," he took a seat next to her on the bed. He didn't seem to startle her, she simply stopped banging her head and sent Sasha a small smile. When she turned her face to see him, she quickly wiped away any stray tears and pulled him in for a quick hug.

"I feel like an idiot, anytime you see me I'm in tears. I'm sorry." Sasha chuckled.

"You're not an idiot, and you look beautiful even when you're in tears." Payson tensed at his words and aimlessly looked into his eyes, as if any moment they would get married and ride off into the sunset.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Sasha swallowed thickly. Payson tried to sit up, but being unable to with her back brace.

"Of course." Sasha hooked his arms around her waist, anchoring her up. She rested her hands on his shoulders and smiled. "How have you been Payson?" he asked, trying to get a real answer. She shrugged.

"I feel great!" she tried, with a giant fake smile pasted on her face, which wore down as soon as Sasha rolled his eyes.

"I thought you trusted me enough to give me a real answer ibuito?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. Payson scrunched her nose and looked down at her legs.

"I feel like I'm a useless lump," she mumbled. Sasha frowned, even though he had expected that. Suddenly, Sasha knew what to do. It was as if the light bulb went off in his head. He quickly pulled her into his chest and chuckled.

"Okay, I know what we are going to do today, come on, lets go." He pulled Payson onto her feet and slowly helped her out of the room.

"What are we doing?" she asked, not quite objecting as he hooked his arm around her waist and guided her down the stairs.

"We're going to the zoo."

* * *

><p><strong>AN **I know this chapter probably felt too much like a filler chapter, but I promise it'll get better! So, up next coming up is going to be some Sasha and Payson fluff at the zoo on thier informal date! Though when they're there, it might turn into something more than just a good time. I was kind of short on time when I wrote this, so sorry in advance! I'm not entirlly happy with it, but I know filler chapters are necessary. I promise I'll updat next week or sooner! Tell me whether you liked this or not. Again, if you didn't review already, it would make me extremly happy if you review this chapter! You know you want to!


	4. The Way it Once Was

**A/N **Sorry for the long wait guys! It took forever, but here it is! Hope you like!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe." <em>

**_Chapter 3 _**

Kaylie watched as Nicky worked his way around his new and improved rings routine. There was something about him that was different than any other boy she'd ever seen. No guy had ever turned down an opportunity to talk to her like Nicky had. In a way it offended her, but in a strange way, it made her want him. _You can't think like that, he's Payson's _she thought quickly, before she started thinking the statement through. He caught her staring and dismounted off the rings with a simple layout dismount, making his way over to her.

"What's wrong Princess?" he asked, as he chalked up to run his routine over again. Again and again. Till it was perfect. _Just like Payson_ thought Kaylie. He reminded Kaylie too much of _her_. Everywhere she went, all she heard was Payson this Payson that. She loved her best friend, but the National Champion deserved some appreciation too.

"Hello? Earth to Disney Land?" called Nicky, as Kaylie stared off into space. She shook her head and met his gaze, flashing him a small smile.

"Hey..." Kaylie began, not quite sure what she should begin with. Endorsements? More photo shoots? Payson? She really felt like she could talk to Nicky about Payson, but she decided to stick with something safer.

"So we have a pool party in LA to go to this weekend." Kaylie tried, with a shrug. Nicky chuckled.

"So it didn't go well with Payson I see?" he asked, keeping his eyes set on the tape around his wrist. Kaylie balked.

"How..." Nicky cut her off by throwing his arm around her shoulder.

"Princess, you're not that hard to read," he guided her towards the exit, "you wanted to talk to me about it but you decided that it would be safer to stick with endorsements and all the other crap MJ pulls?" Kaylie shrugged and trudged to a stop, turning to face him completely.

"She hates me so much. I don't even know why." She slightly jut out her bottom lip, a usual habit she had built up since she was a little girl whenever her father refused to buy her the bugs bunny popsicles with the gumball eyes from the ice cream truck because gymnast and it would make her gain weight. Nicky chuckled and took her hand in his, pulling her out of the Rock, towards his car.

"What are you doing?" asked Kaylie, not really protesting to whatever it was. She liked the way her hand fit into Nicky's. _Like a puzzle piece_ thought Kaylie. The thought sparked a smile on her face. A true smile. Not one that she forced on to make people believe everything was okay.

"Let's go somewhere," announced Nicky, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Somewhere we aren't forced to go to by MJ," he tried. He could sense Kaylie's decision wavering. He intertwined their fingers and smiled. His warm, comforting, _persuading_ smile. The one he usually reserved for Payson.

"It'll be fun."

#

Payson wasn't accustomed to anyone helping her through a rough time. She was known to be 'unpredictable' and 'headstrong' when she was upset or distressed, but one thing she knew was that Sasha Belov was anything but ordinary. He had driven Payson nearly thirty miles out of Boulder for what? A zoo? She always trusted Sasha and she wasn't going to stop now. The last time she doubted him, she ended up in this situation with a back brace.

"Why are we here again?" grumbled Payson as she stepped through the giant iron cast gate to the Denver Zoo. The smell of stale popcorn and unkempt animals invaded her senses. She crinkled her nose in disgust as she laid eyes on an elephant doing its business. The first word she thought of was choas. Sasha slid an arm around her waist and quickly pulled her out of the way as a middle aged women chasing a toddler was about to body check her.

"Bloody Americans and their good for nothing children." Sasha muttered, as he guided Payson to safety through a mob of angry American men. Payson giggled as Sasha cursed at the ongoing visitors of the public zoo. Suddenly, Payson found Sasha's accent irresistible. And what was with the attractive five o' clock shadow? And the piercing blue eyes? Together they were enough to make her knees buckle. Why was she just noticing this? Sasha turned to her and wagged his eyebrows playfully.

"And what might you be looking at Keeler?" Sasha scoffed as Payson tried to fight the heat creeping up her neck. Busted. Was she seriously staring at him? What was this, second grade?

"I take it you don't ever want kids?" she finally asked. Sasha snorted.

"And when did I ever say that?" Payson rolled her. She took a deep breath and arched her eyebrows the way Sasha always did.

"Bloody Americans and their good for nothing children! Bah Humbug!" Payson immitated in a deep voice and bad accent. Sasha burst out in laughter as Payson used his own words against him. He found this side of Payson adorable. In the gym, she was always so focused and determined; but outside of the realm of gymnastics, Payson was probably one of the most fun people to be around. Not that she believed it one bit.

"First of all, nobody said anything about Bah Humbug. Second of all, I said bloody Americans raise children who are good for nothing, last time I checked I'm not a bloody American," Sasha smirked proudly and Payson tried her best to look morally offended, but eventually fell into fits of giggles.

"You better watch who you're with when you say that Belov, some people," she coughed gesturing to herself, "might find that a little offensive! Are you saying that I'm good for nothing?" Sasha balked at the girl standing in front of him. Who was this girl? He had never in his life heard Payson talking so much, and he had never in his life felt like he couldn't get enough of it.

"You my Payson Keeler, I could never say that to," he said, playfully tapping her nose. She barked out a laugh.

"Really? Because even I think I'm good for nothing at this point. What's the point of life if I'm not good at anything? I should just die, it wouldn't be like I was here at all." Sasha frowned at her words. Even as a joke, he could feel his blood start to broil. He couldn't imagine his life without Payson and he doubted that anyone else could either.

"Hey Sasha, I'm just kidding. I'm not some psychotic teenager who's going to kill herself." Sasha stopped walking and looked into her eyes. He loved her so much, and didn't know how he would survive if something happened to her.

"Payson, I don't want you to ever say anything like that ever again. I can't imagine my life without you, with or without gymnastics." She smiled and nodded.

"Yes coach," she saluted. They made their way around the zoo. It was so easy to be themselves when they were together. No hard feelings and no seriousness. Sasha would occasionally take a hand full of the popcorn and shove it into her mouth. Payson would giggle trying to swallow it all. It was as if they were one of those sappy couples Payson always mocked on TV shows. She swore she would never be like them, but with Sasha, she didn't care if that's what they looked like it. She shook her head. She shouldn't have been thinking about her coach like that. Well, ex coach. She sighed and turned to Sasha as they exited the tiger exhibit where Sasha had managed to name each one a ridiculous name, starting with naming the biggest one Big Foot.

"You wanna know how I really feel about all this?" Payson started as they passed by the cotton candy stand where a five year old was crying over his cotton candy on the ground. Sasha chuckled and guided them to a bench adjacent to the monkey exhibit, motioning for her to sit down. Payson settled herself, Sasha's shoulder cushioning her back. He slid an arm around her shoulder and looked down at her.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel like I had everything I could ever hope for, and it was all ruined because thought I could do anything. If I had just been honest with you, I would still be on top of the world. And I feel so numb right now. I feel like I'm going to wake up any minute and go to the Rock," Payson let out a shaky breath, as a tear slowly rolled down her cheek, "but I'm not. I'm not going to wake up. I'm not going to ever fly on bars. I'm not going to ever get to learn a double Arabian on floor. I'm not ever going to up my DOD. I'm not ever going to," she fixed her gaze to Sasha's steel gray eyes, "Sasha, I'm never going to win."

"Payson, you have already won something more valuable than a gold medal. You have won respect. From your family, friends, team mates, fans, heck competitors even. You have won love. From Kaylie, from Lauren, from Emily, from Becca, from your parents. So what if you don't have a gold medal? Because you have so much more." He tightened his grip around her as she curled into his chest.

"Do I really?" she murmured into his t-shirt. He nodded and turned to face her, their bodies still flush against each other.

"Of course you do, everyone loves you immensly Payson." She smiled and started drawing mindless patterns against his muscular torso.

"Do you?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper; somehow having gathered the courage to ask the question. Sasha swallowed thicky, wondering what the appropriate thing to say would be. She looked up into his eyes, searching if they were harboring an answer.

"Payson, I," before he could finish, the voice of a six year old girl called for Payson. For moment, Payson ignored the voice, still looking into Sasha's eyes; and for a moment, he did the same, but they were pulled out of their moment yet again.

"Ms Keeler!" Payson broke out of her daze and met the piercing blue eyes of an enthusiastic little girl, who looked as if her cheeks might rip at the size of her smile. Payson couldn't help but smile at the child, as if her smile was contagious.

"Hello," Payson started, not quite knowing what the girl wanted. She watched as the small girl tucked a strand of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear and straighten her posture before handing Payson a fresh napkin and a pen.

"Ms Keeler, would you please sign this for me? I'm your biggest fan in the _whole world,_" she said, twirling around trying to make her point valid, "I watched every meet you were ever on ever since I was four! You were always the best, especially at Nationals. I was sad you didn't win. Mommy said you could never do gymnastics again, but I believe you can," she blabbed. Payson signed her name on the napkin, but paused when she mentioned her gymnastics. She looked up to meet the six year old's burning gaze.

"You think I can do it?" she asked softly, not quite sure why she was seeking the consolation of a young and naive child over the highly trained proffesional doctor who diagnosed her back. The child nodded brightly and smiled ear to ear.

"Yes! Of course I do! You're the best gymnast in the _world_, remember?" she asked, as though Payson had missed the most obvious fact in the world. Lost deep in thought, Payson slightly smiled.

"What's your name?" she asked, taking the girls miniscule hand in hers.

"Mackenzie," she announced proudly. "You should know because I'm going to be just like you when I grow up. A champion." Payson shed a tear as her words hit home. Sasha had been right. People did think of her as a champion. She really was loved. She gently stroked Mackenzie's hair and smiled.

"I'm sure you will be Mackenzie. I believe in you too," said Payson, echoing back her earlier words. The little six year old nodded and scampered off, holding her autographed napkin to her chest as if it was her most prized possesion. Payson remained silent, running Mackenzie's encouraging words over through her head.

_You're the best gymnast in the world, remember_? For a moment, she could feel her heart soar. The way it did when she launched herself from the high bar to the low in one swift move. For a moment, she was at the top of the world. the way she was when she was on the podium for gold. For a moment, she let herself believe she really was the best gymnast in the world. The way she felt when a gold medal hung around her neck.

"Payson," called Sasha, his voice distant, as if it was a lost memory. One of the many memories floating silently around her suddenly vacant mind. Vague glimpses of her past life over whelmed her head to toe. The way her callused hands felt in freshly chalked grips. The way her feet hit the beam, as if cemented, when she did her mount perfectly. The way every thought was erased from her mind as she ran towards the horse during her Yurchenko vaults. Suddenly, she felt as lost as an abandoned puppy in New York City. As every coherent thought escaped her mind, one burned into her brain the way fire burned through everything in it's path.

If gymnastics defined her, who is the new Payson Keeler?

* * *

><p><strong>AN** Again, sorry for the late update guys! I guess time just really got to me. I had a really busy week with tests and projects and all. Sucks being a freshman. I also took forever to _write_ this chapter. I'm pretty sure I'm going through a wicked case of writers block and I'm not really sure how to work through it, so I did the best I could here. I rewrote it like a million times and I'm pretty sure this is the best it's going to get.

So we got some Nicky and Kaylie drama starting to stir up. I have mixed feelings about Nicky. I don't really hate him, but I don't really love him either. I think he was better off with Kaylie than Payson though. For you Kaylicky and KayAus fans, don't worry, Austin will be here soon (whether you think it's good or not)! He just needs to make his way over to Boulder in his ridiculously expensive motor cycle!

We also have Payson and Sasha here on their 'not so official' date. Payson's going to hit her breaking point soon in her denial phase. I'm sure little Mackenzie sparked the realization in Payson that she wasn't even aware of. If you guys want to see who Mackenzie is, I have a picture attached on my profile. Tell me if you liked her!

Thanks a bunch to my reviewer, RachealA13 and the annonomous review! Your reviews kept me going! If you didn't review before, please review this chapter! Tell me what you think! Good, bad or horrible. Just leave a quick review of your thoughts!


	5. Kiss Me

**A/N **Hey guys! So here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on." <em>

**_Chapter 4 _**

Kaylie watched as Nicky gulped down two whole Banana Blitz smoothies by the time she took a single sip from her own Strawberry Fandango. She giggled as he put the cup down and it revealed his thick, yellow smoothie stash.

"What?" he asked, completely unaware of the smoothie staining his upper lip. She leaned over and wiped it off using her thumb, feeling him tense the slightest bit under her touch.

"There. Now you don't look like my five year old cousin, Ernie Cruz," she smiled when Nicky flushed, yet looked amused at a new level. It was so easy to be herself around him. It was almost like it was what was meant to happen by nature.

"Kaylie, I have to ask you something," he stated, breaking her out of her daze. She shook her head, cutting him off.

"I have to ask you something first. Do you have a thing for Payson?" she asked quickly before her voice failed her. Nicky opened his mouth, but closed it again.

"No," he said quietly. "I don't." Kaylie frowned.

"I thought you did. You two seemed really close before Nationals and everything. I guess I just assumed you two were the next power couple," she said awkwardly, turning away to hide the color threatening to creep up her cheek. Nicky reached out and took her hand in his, giving it a small tug to get her attention. She looked up to see Nicky closer than he was before. He took the seat beside her and looked into her eyes, trying to find the answer he was looking for.

"What?" she asked self consciously. He shook his head.

"I did have a thing for Payson. We were really alike, but then I think I like someone else now." Kaylie's heart fluttered at his words, a feeling she thought she had given up entirely when she and Carter had broken up. Before she could contemplate something to say, Nicky pressed his lips to hers. Caught off guard, she froze against him, not quite sure what to do. As his hand came up to her cheek, she kissed him back, knowing it was the right thing to do.

Nicky had been different from all the other guys she had dated. He didn't like her because of her beauty or her money. He liked her because of who she was. He made her feel a new type of special, a type of special she didn't quite know existed. More importantly, he chose her over Payson, and at the moment, that's all that mattered.

#

There was a moment in every girl's life when she experienced her first crush. She and her friends would crowd around her school locker or in the bathroom and giggle about the way his hand brushed against hers when he asked to borrow a pencil, or the way he looked when he was flustered and embarrassed. Payson's first crush wasn't the boy who sat next to her on the bus, or the boy who walked his dog across her house every time she was outside. It was Sasha Belov.

Payson's first crush wasn't caused by the way his voice made her knees buckle. She had never heard his voice. It wasn't caused by the way his penetrating gaze was enough to make her melt like ice under the sun. She had never seen him in person. It wasn't caused by way the smallest brush of his hand was enough to send her into her own trance. She had never been less than 2000 miles away from him. Her first crush was caused by his dedication and determination to be the best. At age six, Payson didn't care that Sasha had an irresistible accent or rock solid abs. She cared that he was best at what he did because he worked relentlessly at it 24/7, much like she would when she was his age heading to the Olympics.

She didn't look at the lines his biceps made when he threw himself around the high bar. She looked at the precision of his moves. She didn't look at the way his abs were defined when his sweat soaked leotard stuck to his body. She looked at the outcome of the blood, sweat and tears when he stood on that podium from gold. When it was possible to fall for a man she had never met at the age of six, imagine what it felt like to be a hormone raged teenager around your first crush, who you just noticed, was a million times more attractive than you had ever thought to be. Payson watched as Sasha steered the truck towards her house. Sasha had always been there for her at the times she needed him most, including earlier when she had a minor break down. It was funny how a clueless little girl's words could really be a step towards reality.

_"Payson," Sasha called softly, trying not to startle her. She gently laid her head into the crook of Sasha's neck and sighed. _

_"It's really over isn't it Sasha?" she muttered into his neck, trying to avoid looking him in the eye. He shifted so she could comfortably lay into him. _

_"That depends what you're talking about," he whispered into her ear, slightly twirling the ends of her hair with his fingers. She took a deep breath and lifted her head. _

_"I'm never going to become a champion like Mackenzie believes I will, will I?" She chewed her bottom lip and shifted her _gaze_ to the Mackenzie who smiled warmly and waved. Payson shot her a small smile and turned to Sasha who looked as though he wanted to punch a wall._

_"You don't have to say it Sasha. I know," she said, picking herself from the bench. Sasha followed, craning her back up. She looked up at Sasha and the ends of her lips slightly twitched up into a sad smile. _

_"Will you be there for me?" she asked, hoping he wouldn't sense the double meaning in her words. He reached out and intertwined their fingers. _

_"I will be there for you in every way possible Payson Keeler. You are a true champion. In both mind and heart," he brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a small kiss to the patch of skin. Payson slightly gasped before a smile played on her face. A real smile. Because for that one moment, she believed him with all her heart. _

"We're here," announced Sasha, as though she didn't know where she lived. Sasha hopped out and followed Payson to the door step. They settled under the dimly lit light as the spring night sky brought the flickering lights of fireflies to dance around them.

Payson remembered the first time she caught a firefly. It was the summer between first and second grade in her grandma's backyard in Minnesota. It was her first year on a gymnastics team and that made her happier than anything in the world. She sat on the large rock just outside the patio and began counting the stars. They said it was impossible for a person to count all the stars. _I'll show them, _she thought. She began counting.

1...2...3...4...

Just before she hit five, the fifth star flickered away and landed on her arm. She had asked her mom if all the stars were bugs, like the one that landed on her arm. Her mother had laughed and pointed out that it was a firefly. Payson had asked why they couldn't blink light as the fireflies could. Her mother's only responce was that fireflies had a light in them that blinked everytime they were granting someone's wish. Payson had quickly made a note of it and remembered to make her life long wish.

_I wish to become a champion. _

"Pay?" Sasha called. Payson smiled and met his eyes. "Where'd you just go?" he asked, a spark of curiosity in his eye. He smiled when Payson smiled at the innocent memory.

"I've always wanted to be a champion. As long as I've been alive. It's just funny I'm not, that's all," she said, taking his hands in hers. He slightly stroked her hand with his callused thumb, taking a step closer. Then another. And another. Till their lips were less than inch apart from each other. Payson brought her hand up to his stubbled cheek, curling her fingers around the nape of his neck, closing the remaining distance between them. Their foreheads pressed together, Payson wanted nothing more than to press her lips to his. She could feel his breath hot against her lips.

"Payson," he breathed, not quite knowing what to say. He swallowed harshly before sliding his hands down to her waist, melting her with every touch. Payson ran her hand through his wheat colored hair, slightly digging her blunt nails into his scalp.

"Just kiss me."

#

Austin Tucker entered the heart of gymnastics, the club he has now made his mission to train at. The Rocky Mountain Training Center. It wasn't a mystery why he had wanted to train at the Rock. He would be training with his hero, Sasha Belov. Ever since he was a child, all Austin Tucker wanted to do was be like Sasha Belov, who was at the time practically the king of all gymnastics. That and his bad ass attitude which Austin took on now as his Mr. Cobalt image. It was that attitude that made him intimidated that Sasha wouldn't let him train at the Rock. Of course there's also the Rock girls which made him want to train there. He smiled as he laid his eyes on the big banner which hung atop the sign for the Rock.

**Home of National Champion, Kaylie Cruz****  
><strong>  
>He had seen Kaylie Cruz in every gymnastics article, campaign and commercial since Nationals. Her warm brown eyes, soft olive skin, and rosy pink lips had left his mind driven crazy to meet her. Kaylie Cruz and Austin Tucker. It had a nice ring to it. He felt a hand clap on his shoulder and a deep chuckle. He didn't need to turn to see that Sasha Belov was amused at his gaping at the poster.<p>

"Welcome to the Rock Tucker. There's no training today and I assume you'll have all your paper work in by tomorrow and start training immediately. Not a single day to waste, we don't have too much time till Worlds," said Sasha, completely aware of everything that was going on. Austin had come prepared to fall to Sasha Belov's feet to beg to let him train at the Rock, but this seemed easy enough.

"What's the catch?" he asked warily. He knew what kind of person Sasha was, he was merely an older version of himself. There was no way there wasn't a catch.

"You stay away from Kaylie Cruz. If you're drooling over her poster, I don't even want to know what you would do if she was really here," Sasha stated with a smug smile. Austin cringed at Sasha's openness. The sickeningly sweet act might have actually been enough to kill him. Maybe it wasn't just an expression like it was led on to be.

"Of you go, see you Monday, 5:00 am sharp, no exceptions, got it? Olympians get treated the same as regular Elites, got it Mr. Cobalt? Good bye now."

* * *

><p><strong>AN** And the drama begins! Nicky and Kaylie...ah Nicky and Kaylie. So they finally kiss. Speaking of kiss, dun dun dunnn the big question shall be whether Sasha kissed Payson or not! Well at least she's over Nicky I guess. All the conforntations ought to be interesting...hmmm. Oh and for all you KayAus fans out there, Mr. Kobalt has arrived, and clearly is determined. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Again, I hope you guys like it! Thanks a million times to my reviewers RachealA13 and Alix1234! Your reviews kept me going! If you haven't already reviewed this story, please review this chapter! Tell me what you think! Good, bad or horrible. Just leave a quick review of your thoughts!


	6. Living Under a Shadow

**A/N **Hey guys! So here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...<p>

* * *

><p>Becca sunk herself into her split, trying to stretch her severely cramped muscles. 6 A.M was too early for training, but it was better than attempting to sleep next door to Payson who had managed to moan and groan almost all night. Becca had always been a very patient person, but a girl can only take 6 hours of her recently depressed sister's sleep grumbling. She had never expected to come to the Rock for some peace and quiet, but what could she say? Desperate times call for desperate measures.<p>

"Always did pin the Keeler women to be the ones breaking into the gym," Sasha teased, making his way down to the floor with a satisfying smirk playing on his face. Becca rolled her eyes and faked a strangling noise.

"There's only so much somebody can take of Payson groaning and moaning all night. I think your daily conditioning might actually be something to look forward to today." Sasha scratched his head, slightly cringing at the mention of Payson.

"What's wrong?" she asked cautiously. Sasha sucked in a breath and shook his head.

"Nothing, I was just thinking whether you wanted to go Elite." Becca raised her eye brows, slightly taken aback by Sasha's suggestion. Becca had always done gymnastics because it was fun. It was a great hobby and a fun way to spend her day, not a career path like Payson had always envisioned it. It was merely a nice way to live life. She had no intention in going to the Olympics like Payson had. The thought of going Elite made Becca wonder whether Sasha was just using it as a way to project Payson's life onto hers.

"I've never really thought about it like that. I really love gymnastics as a hobby, not as a path to the Olympics like my sister did," she said, slightly afraid to face Sasha's reaction. It probably would have been a little awkward hearing from your gymnast that she didn't have an intention of pursuing a career in what she spent most of her life training for; but Sasha simply shrugged.

"Okay, I was just putting the thought in your mind. I know it's been hard trying to cope with everything that has been happening in the past few weeks, but I don't want you to forget how important _you_ are. Payson's injury really affected her and everybody around her, and I don't want you to feel like _you_ are also losing yourself in all the change. I know it can be hard to move past a big change, and I don't want you to feel like the Olympics and gymnastics is just Payson's thing." Becca slowly nodded, not quite sure what to say. It was a lot to take in as a thirteen year old girl trying to make a life changing decision. Becoming Elite was like signing a contract that prompted you to eat, sleep, and bleed gymnastics; as Payson used to say.

"Junior National team is pretty good huh?" she asked, after a few painstaking minutes of suspense had passed by. Sasha nodded and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You have a lot of potential Becca. Don't think that you would be hurting Payson by becoming an Elite. And if you are thinking about becoming Elite, don't feel like you have to measure up to Payson," he exhaled the remaining oxygen in his lungs and offered her a smile. "I just," he paused, trying to find the right words, "I just want you to know that you are your own person, and I don't want you to fall into a rhythm of hiding under Payson's shadow, especially now after all that's happened." Becca took a deep breath and soaked in her options. Something inside of her has always wanted to be something great, just not as much as Payson had. A lot changed after Nationals, and Sasha was right, she did feel like she had fallen into Payson's shadow. She knew Payson would be happy for her if she did go Elite, but there was a small part of her than felt guilty that she was taking on a life that was meant for her sister.

"Thanks Sasha, I'll think about it." He shot her a tight smile and started to make his way back into the tiny office.

"Wait!" she called out. Sasha stopped mid step and turned to face his little gymnast.

"What's wrong?" She contemplated for what seemed like forever, twisting her hands together uncomfortably.

"Where did you and Payson go yesterday?" she suddenly blurted, not quite sure if the question came out the way she had intended it to. She shook her head and tried again.

"I don't mean to sound like I'm against it or anything, it's just she's been moaning weird things in her sleep and I was wondering if she said anything to you about it," she asked. Sasha remained perfectly still, as if he had nothing to say to her about their whereabouts. At Sasha's silence, she figured she should just let it go.

"I didn't mean to touch on anything private if that's what it's about... I'll just get practicing," she said awkwardly, making her way to the bars. She heard Sasha's forced sigh and turned around. He motioned for her to come back. Unsure of what else to do, she slowly obliged.

"We didn't actually do anything. We just went to the zoo for a while and came back home," he paused and shook his head, trying to fix his words, "I mean I dropped her back at your house. I think the reality of her accident is finally catching up to her," he explained, running a hand over his face. Becca nodded, not quite sure why he hadn't told her that in the first place. She wasn't very much talking about the accident when she had asked, she had been talking about the awkward moment she opened the door to find them both there, in midst of a seemingly intense conversation. Or something like that.

"I didn't really mean where you guys went," she said slowly, "I meant what were you guys talking about when I interrupted you..." she wheeled, knowing Sasha was probably just going to tell her to stop hoping for a miracle that there was a magical surgery that could bring her back to reality and make everything okay. Not that Sasha knew she was hoping for that. He just looked quite flustered, almost as if he didn't know what to say.

"Again, feel free to tell me that I'm asking unnecessary questions. I tend to do that a lot," she joked, slightly changing the atmosphere. Sasha chuckled.

"You and Payson both, little Keeler. You're a lot like her you know?" Becca tilted her head in confusion. Becca was never told she was like Payson. If anything, she was told they were as different as night and day. Payson preferred chocolate, Becca preferred vanilla. Payson preferred cats, while Becca preferred dogs. Right down to the fact that Payson preferred light haired guys, while Becca preferred dark hair. That was quite frankly the philosophy she had used to determine that Nicky Russo was no match for her sister. Also why she would get to say 'I told you so' after Payson reverted back to herself, and finally took notice of the Kaylicky headlines infesting the papers.

"I'm nothing like her," Becca argued, "I thought you knew Pay better than that coach," she teased. Anyone with eyes would know that Sasha and Payson knew each other better than they knew themselves. That was one of the reasons why she had been surprised that Sasha hadn't caught the difference in Payson before the accident at Nationals.

"Well, you're both very determined to get what you want," he said bluntly. Becca shrugged in defeat. It was true, the Keeler girls were always known for that.

"Yeah, I guess," she admitted, "I guess I never thought about it that way. So since you know that, I'm guessing you'll answer my question now?" she asked quietly. Sasha chuckled and nodded.

"We were just talking about how her life was before the injury, that's all. It's alright Becca, we weren't conspiring on how to take over the Russian army," Sasha teased. Becca barked out a laugh and shook her head in disapproval.

"Darn, Payson always did have it out for the Russians."

#

Payson woke up to the sound of knuckles slightly knocking against the door. She groaned, ready to tell, whoever it was, off.

"Payson, it's Nicky." Payson's eyes snapped open as she heard the familiar voice of Nicky Russo. She hadn't seen him since the whole illegal cortisone transaction took place at the Cruz's party. She didn't know why, but she could feel her stomach doing somersaults as she heard the sound of his voice.

"Come in," she said, trying hard not to let her voice crack. Nicky shouldn't make her nervous. He, after all, suggested the cortisone which effectively ended her dream. She shook her head. As much as she would love to blame it all on Nicky, it was her fault to begin with. She was brought back to reality as the mattress shifted under her, as Nicky set himself down across from her. She met his eyes, afraid of what he might say or do.

"First of all, I just want to say I'm so sorry Pay, I didn't mean for any of this to happen." She internally rolled her eyes. The only thing worse than breaking her back on National Television was having to hear everybody's daily dose of pity towards her.

"Thanks," she forced out between her teeth, still not quite sure why he was here. "Don't mean to sound rude, but what are doing here?" she asked. Nicky flushed and slightly shrugged.

"I guess I wanted to see how you were doing." Payson almost snorted in amusement as the words left his lips. It was all over the news about Kaylicky. Did he really expect her to believe it was nothing, and that he still cared for her? Clearly, the world still revolved around Kaylie Cruz, while Payson was the newly added to the Where Are They Now documentaries.

"I'm doing great; it's almost time for training to begin. You should go," she suggested, pointing at the door. She could see the hurt evident in his features, making her instantly regret her hasty words. She took a deep breath and reached out for his hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just a little irritated about everything that's happened this past few weeks," she explained, feeling bitter for lying. He intertwined their fingers and smiled.

"It's okay; I know it's been rough for you. How are you doing?" he asked. She shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Gee Nicky, how do you think its going?" she asked bitterly, pointing to her back brace, a spark of sarcasm sprinkled into her comment. Nicky chuckled and tapped the brace.

"I should get one of these, I heard it does wonders for your posture," he teased.

"Yes, because even though I lost everything I gave up my _entire_ childhood for, I'll have posture as great as Queen Elizabeth! Thanks for putting that into perspective for me Nick," she added brightly. He chuckled, giving her hand a slight tug.

"It'll totally help me on the new skill Sasha added in my Rings routine. He keeps complaining that I don't straighten my back enough." Payson flinched at the mention of Sasha. The day had ended awkwardly after he had dropped her home after their time at the zoo. It had been a perfect day, and Payson felt horrible for being so forward and ruining the end of such a beautiful day together. Although, there was a small part of her that couldn't help but wonder if it would have ended better if they hadn't been cut short.

_"Just kiss me." Sasha pulled back to slightest bit to look into her eyes. She could see he was weighing his options on what to do. _

_"I'm your coach," he uttered, pulled their foreheads together once again. Payson wrapped her free arm around his sculpted torso and pulled herself flush against him. _

_"Were," she said, fluttering her eyes closed. She wasn't sure were the new found confidence had come from. There were many times she had been attracted to him but was too scared to act upon. Clearly he was just as surprised at her confidence. She could feel her heart racing away in her chest. She was sure he could too. He moved his lips away from above hers, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She smiled as he moved back toward her lips. Before their lips met, Sasha suddenly jerked away, moving a good inch away from her. Payson fluttered her eyes back open, slightly hurt that he had pulled away. She could see the flush creeping up his neck._

_"Oh hey guys, what's up?" asked a cheery new voice. Payson's head snapped towards the voice, where the door was now replaced by a cheery looking Becca Keeler. She pointed to the phone and smiled. _

_"I was just about to call you Pay. Mom was starting to wonder where you two snuck off two," she teased, completely oblivious to what she had interrupted. Payson didn't know whether she was glad or upset that Becca had interrupted them when she had. It was surely going to have to be an awkward talk they would have to eventually face. _

_"Mom made your favorite meat loaf. If you don't come inside and claim yourself some, I'm going to eat it all," she warned playfully, wagging her eyebrows. Payson quickly nodded and made her way into the house. Before Becca shut the door, she snuck one last glance at Sasha. He offered her a slightly awkward smile and small wave. She replicated the action before the door closed shut, locking them in opposite sides of the piece of wood. _

"Sorry Payson, too early for gymnastics?" Nicky asked, assuming her silence was related to his new Rings routine. Payson nodded, sending him a wane smile.

"I miss you," he said, his voice small. Payson raised her eyebrows, not quite sure whether she should be flattered or offended that he would say that when he was clearly paired up with Kaylie.

"I think you should leave now." For a moment, Payson thought that it had been her voice, till she saw Nicky's attention shift to the door. She turned to see the bitch of the beam with her eyes narrowed on Nicky.

"Lo!" she admonished, not really sure why Lauren was being testy to begin with.

"Don't listen to him Pay, he used that same sweet talking on Kaylie," she turned her gaze back to Nicky, "You're disgusting you know that?" Nicky looked stunned, completely caught off guard.

"So it's true," Payson said, turning to Nicky, more of a comment to herself than to him. "Then what are you doing here?"

"For the party, duh" Lauren's voice cut in again. Payson frowned in confusion, tilting her head at Lauren. Nicky groaned, turning to face Lauren.

"Way to ruin the surprise," he mumbled.

"What surprise?" asked Payson, feeling like she was the clueless idiot of the bunch. Lauren motioned for Nicky to get downstairs. He nodded and made his way down the stairwell as Lauren grabbed Payson's hand and pulled her to her feet.

"What surprise?" she whines again, as Lauren dragged her out of the comfort of her room and down to the living room.

"Lo, I don't get what you're-"

"Surprise!" Payson stepped back a few steps as everybody around her enveloped her in a giant hug. Payson looked around, not quite sure why she was being surprised.

"We just wanted to give you a surprise party, showing you how much we miss you," explained Lauren. Payson nodded, faking a smile. "

Thanks guys, I love you guys so much!" She took a deep breath and plastered on her media darling smile. She looked around at her three best friends standing around the table with various food set around it; the giant banner that read 'We Miss You' in what looked vaguely like Emily's handwriting; and finally, the man who was leaning against the door frame to her patio, his steel grey eyes melting her under his intense gaze. Great. Just what she needed. A room full of pity, Nicky and his new girlfriend, and an unsaid awkward conversation in queue with the only person she did want to spend time with.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **Sorry for such a late update guys! I've been so caught up in school that I barely had any time for writing this chapter. Thanks a bunch to anyone who has reviewed my story! You guys are the best, and I hope you'll continue to read my stories. If you haven't checked it out already, try reading my new one shot, Set it Free! Hope to hear from you on that story too!

So I played around a little bit with Becca and Sasha in the first half of this. I've never really tried that, so I'm not sure how it turned out. Tell me if you liked it! So the kiss never happened. Boo. It'll happen, don't worry! I really wanted to play around with the whole pity aspect of Payson's injury because even in the show, she didn't really want any help from people who offered it. So Nicky was there... dun dun dun. Another awkward unsaid conversation.

So next chapter, is going to be the awkward unsaid conversation between Payson and Sasha which they have cleverly avoided till now. Not for long! I really hope you guys leave a review! Trust me, I'm not joking when I say it keeps me motivated to writing. So please leave a review of whether you liked it! Hope to here from you guys soon!


	7. What Real Love Is

**A/N **Hey guys! So here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...<p>

* * *

><p><em>"What's best is not always what is right. What's right is not always what is best." <em>

**_Chapter 6_**

Payson was good at putting on a show for the people around her. She always is. She always was. She always will be. She made sure of it. She convinced everybody she was doing fantastic without they're help. Honestly, it was what they deserved for being so absorbed in their own little everyday problems, not being grateful for all that they have. Sure, it sounded like the words came from the mouth of a bitter old lady, but what else could you expect sitting next to Emily, who had managed to ramble about her broody wannabe rock star boyfriend for the past six and a half hours? You would think she would be happy she was a member on the National Team. But of course not, she had to spend all her energy venting about how the recently discovered pizza boy was a total push and pull.

And then there was Lauren. She had so much untapped potential that if she took a minute away from either trying to separate her father from his recent girlfriend, or trying to get Carter to fall in love with her, she could be undefeated. There was so much she was capable of doing, but always ended up putting gymnastics behind every other prissy little problem in her life. When you're following your dream, why does it even matter whether you do or don't have a boyfriend? As long as you have a gold medal at the end of the day, what's the use?

And finally, Kaylie. She was rich. She was popular. She was pretty. She had thousands of boys at her feet every day. But it was never really enough for her. Out of the thousands of boys who were already worshipping the ground she walked on, Kaylie just had to go for the one boy who ever showed the tiniest spark of interest in her. She just had to take that too. But she was okay with that. What she couldn't stand the sight of, was how she got both gold, and the guy. She got her title. The one she had been dreaming about since she was four years old. The one she gave up her entire childhood for.

All Payson ever wanted was a gold medal. And Kaylie took that away too. Now she was flouncing around her house with Nicky's arm snaked around her waist, sneaking kisses practically every other sentence she spoke.

Why couldn't any of them be happy with what they have? Was it so hard to be grateful for what you have until it's gone? Payson would kill to be any of them. She would give anything to be following her dream.

"Long night?" Payson frowned at the unfamiliar voice, craning her up to see who might actually be paying any attention to the girl crouching in the corner of the far end of the party. She gaped as her eyes hit the striking figure of Olympic gold medalist, Austin Tucker. He took a seat beside her and smiled.

"I would say get out this is a private party, but who am I to kick out an Olympic gold medalist in my living room?" she said, still faintly in shock she was speaking to _the_ Austin Tucker. She offered a hand, which he gladly shook. "Payson Keeler."

"I know who you are," he stated proudly. Payson crinkled her nose and smiled childishly.

"How's that?" she asked, slightly curious why all Olympians she has met are thoroughly aware of her presence. Austin looked flat out insulted at her doubt in him.

"Well Payson, I am no doubt your biggest fan in the world." Payson chuckled in amusement as she could vaguely see the resemblance between him and a five year old super fan. "I am such a huge fan that I was thinking about bailing on my competition, just to come visit you in the hospital after Nationals." Payson smiled gratefully, not quite sure whether to laugh or thank him.

"Now I'm wondering whether I should kick you out for being too forward or not," she said, trying to keep her expression purely serious. Austin scoffed, trying to hide his smirk.

"So what are you really doing here Mr. Cobalt?" she asked, wagging her eyebrows. Austin chuckled and stood back up, offering his hand.

"I'm here to dance with you. So Miss Keeler, may I please have this dance?" he asked, although she was sure there was an ulterior motive to all this. Payson hesitated, looking around to see if anybody was watching.

"Oh come on Keeler, you can't tell me you were brave enough to go on National Television and perform a stunt without Cortisone, yet you aren't willing to dance with me," he asked skeptically. Payson rolled her eyes and took his hand, following his lead to the middle of her living room as they began to play a slow song. They were followed by Nicky and Kaylie who danced a good few feet away from them. Everybody's eyes were on Payson, trying to contemplate why somebody as famous and good looking as Austin Tucker would be dancing with the girl who almost had it all. The girl with a back brace. She cringed as he moved his hand down to the small of her back. Austin noticed her sudden change in emotion and frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to understand why she was suddenly uncomfortable. She anxiously looked around, noticing the eyes were duplicating by the second.

"I can't do this. Everybody's staring at me like a freak," she said, trying to wiggle away from his arms. His only response was to hold her tighter.

"Don't," he instructed. She looked up into his eyes, frazzled, not quite sure why he wouldn't let her go.

"Austin, let me go," she hissed. He shook his head.

"No can do. Come on. Relax. Just keep your eyes on me." She nodded, trying to drown out the whispers of the ungodly people watching them. She wasn't quite sure_ why_ she was listening to him, just that she was.

"So, now that we have cleared up that my favorite gymnast is you, you never told me. Who's your favorite gymnast?" he asked playfully, slightly gesturing to himself. Within seconds, the atmosphere changed from tense back to playful banter.

Out of habit, Payson turned toward her answer; but quickly reminding herself to turn back around. One could only hope that the gymnast who won gold on the worst hang over of his life would miss the quick change in direction of her eyes.

"Oh wouldn't you love for me to say your name?" she asked cheekily. Austin smiled.

"You catch on fast Keeler. But I guess I understand why you won't," he said, nodding over in Sasha's direction. Payson felt herself flush a deep crimson, as if he had dug down towards her deepest and darkest secret. Austin slightly raised his hands in surrender, before placing them back on her waist.

"It's alright! I'm not judging! I'm a guy and even I think the man should be worshipped." Payson smiled dreamily, slightly loosing focus of being subtle.

"Well, I can only imagine it being worse for you considering you're a girl, and you work with him, and his accent, and the piercing blue eyes..." he wheedled. Sadly, it was the exact effect he had hoped for, and she dazed off into a stupor of images from the previous night. Sasha's lips against her cheek, the feel of his torso under her fingertips, his hand in her hair.

"Earth to Keeler," he called amusement evident in his voice. Payson shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thoughts.

"Not a word Tucker," she warned sharply, slightly embarrassed.

"Hey it's all good. I know what it feels like to have unreasonable crushes too you know. It's just that mine usually aren't my thirty year old gymnastics coach," he teased. Payson rolled her eyes and slightly nudged into him.

"So, who's your unreasonable crush?" she asked. He shrugged and turned them towards Nicky and Kaylie.

"Her," he gestured to Kaylie. Payson barked out a laugh, more out of anger than amusement. She sounded so heartless and wretched; it made herself feel bitter feeling emotions like that.

"I spy hatred," Austin reeled. Payson rolled her eyes.

"Just mutual jealousy I guess. She got my title and the guy I sort of liked," she vented, not quite sure why she was dumping her heart out to a stranger she met less than thirty minutes ago. Austin instantly burst into laughter.

"What?" she asked self consciously.

"You were into Android Russo? Trust me when I say that you should be glad you didn't hook up with him." Payson rolled her eyes.

"I don't hook up with people, and thanks for the advice."

"Don't worry. As long as you give me some advice in return?" he asked, slightly reeking of desperation. Payson nodded.

"Fair enough. My advice to you is that when Kaylie falls in love, she falls hard. If you're really serious about her, then all you have to do is outshine Nicky. And considering you already have gold while he got silver, it shouldn't be hard." Austin nodded, completely invested in her words of wisdom.

"Got it. So to get the girl, I outshine the loser. That I can do." The two of them shared a wistful smile, both thinking the exact same thing.

_Russo's going down._

"Excuse me Tucker, mind if I cut in?" a very familiar British accent interrupted. Payson squeezed her eyes shut and cursed for still being up and dancing. Austin's eyes widened as he grasped onto any composure he had left to restrain him from laughing. He leant in to whisper into Payson's ear.

"Looks like unreasonable can become reasonable Keeler. Now, behave." He smirked smugly before disappearing out of sight. Payson was slightly suspicious he might have been looking for something to knock Nicky out with, but wasn't too concerned considering how funny it would be to see that happen. Sasha gently placed his hands on Payson's waist, sending a wave of pleasure through her. She locked her arms around his neck, trying to keep the distance between them. Surely, that wasn't the best thing to be hoping for when slow dancing.

"What are you doing?" Payson hissed, afraid people might think she was an even bigger freak to be dancing with her coach. Well, ex coach.

"I think we both know we need to talk," he whispered. She exhaled loudly, unlocking her arms from around his neck and taking his hand in hers.

"Let's do this outside. I'm not looking forward to making this even more awkward by staying in a room full of people staring at me because I'm dancing with a back brace," she said bluntly, making her way towards the patio door. He followed her lead, prompting everybody to move out of their way. When they finally made their way out into the open, a slap of cool wind brought Payson back to reality, reminding her about the awkward conversation they were going to have to face. She shivered, the reality of wearing a sleeveless dress with a cold plastic back brace hitting her. Sasha shrugged off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"Thanks," she said awkwardly, sliding her arms into the sleeves. She instantly felt warmed, his oversized jacket doing a good job of swallowing her up in what was previously his body heat.

"So . . ." he started awkwardly, trailing off, not quite sure what to address first.

"I'm sorry," she blurted, trying to let the tense atmosphere pass. It would have surely worked too, if Sasha hadn't stared at her blankly, unable to say anything. He simply stared at her. Nothing. After several painstaking moments, he opened his mouth,

"I'm sorry too." Payson frowned and tilted her head in confusion.

"What are you sorry for? I'm the one that actually told you to kiss me," she stated, feeling stupid for actually voicing it. He chuckled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"I'm the one that almost did," he countered. Payson sighed. She turned a heel and made her way towards the giant lake behind the willow tree in the open space behind her house. She didn't need to turn around to know Sasha was hot on her heels. She had always loved spending time at the lake. It was always so placid. Today was no exception. A full moon dangled over the deep purple clouds, illuminating the beautiful night sky.

"You know what sucks the most?" she asked, more rhetoric than serious. She slowly craned herself down to the ground, sitting on the patch of dew covered grass before continuing. "The almost. I wouldn't even mind having this conversation if it was after you kissed me. It's the almost that kills me," she said softly, avoiding his gaze. He took a seat beside her, loosening his tie and rolling up his sleeves, not minding the chilly weather.

"The almost kills me too," he admitted quietly. She turned to face him, shocked at what he had voiced. Apparently he was just as shocked judging by his expression. She brushed her fingertips slightly against his wrinkled forehead.

"Then fix it," she dared, raising her eyebrows at him. Sasha sighed heavily, offering her a weak smile.

"You know I can't." Payson twisted her lips into a grimace. Who ever said what was right was easy? If that was true, she would have been in Sasha arms, not caring what anybody thought of them. But life isn't that simple.

"So what do we do? Pretend it never happened?" she asked. He groaned and fell back onto the grass, looking up at the stars. She frowned and did the same, rolling onto her side to face him.

"Is that what we're doing?" she pushed, though she already knew the answer. "Forget?" Sasha raked a hand through his hair in frustration.

"I guess so." She silently cursed herself for asking the obvious. No matter how much she had prepared for the answer, she couldn't help but feel her heart break all over again. He pulled himself up to his feet and held out his hand for her.

"That doesn't change how much I care about you. I am still going to help you through your injury, okay?

This doesn't change us." Payson slowly nodded, slipped her hand into his and took his offered help to stand up. They slowly trudged back towards her patio. She didn't know what was worse, knowing she could never be with the man she truly loved, or being in love with him at all. Though she tried to lock the despicable question away, it continued to slowly gnaw away at her mind.

Would her life have been better without Sasha Belov?

She tried hard to think of happy times that didn't involve her coach. He supported her. He trusted her. He made her feel special, even when she wasn't. How could anything make her happier? When trying to conjure up times she was truly happy without him, the answer remained clear.

She couldn't.

#

"I don't get it. Why would you want to go to the Rock right now? The last time I checked, the Rock girls hate your guts."

"You need to calm down. What's so bad about me wanting to switch gyms?" questioned Kelly, quite irritated with her coach's sudden anger management issues.

"Denver Elite has been like your home. Why would you want to leave your home?" Kelly rolled eyes as she shifted the ice pack on her ankle to numb the pain. The injury had been a real bitch ever since Nationals. No amount of Cortisone was going to make the pain go away, and that scared her. This close to World Trials, taking time from training was not an option.

"Whatever, I know what I want and it's to train at the Rock. Do you have any Cortisone left?" Marty scratched his head and reached for the third drawer pulled out a small vial. He made a move towards Kelly's outstretched hand, but stopped mid way. Kelly pursed her lip.

"It's been six months since I had mine. Now if you mind, I need it here," she groused, snatching the vial out of his hand and the stack of transfer papers on his slightly messy desk and strutted out of the office. Sure he was probably hot on her heels as we speak, but facing facts, Marty wasn't hardest person to talk circles around. She knew what she wanted and how she was going to get it. The Rock was the place to be, and Kelly, as well as every other gymnast in the United States knew it. She settled herself at the bottom of the stairs and stared at the first sheet of paper.

Name: Kelly Parker

Age: 17

Reason for Transferring to The Rock: To train for the Olympics

Reoccurring Injuries: Ankle ACL (If Cortisone not used properly)

How will The Rock benefit from you? They'll win.

"They can win without you too," Marty said pointedly. Kelly flinched at his sudden presence.

"Wear a bell. You're gonna scare all your gymnasts away if you don't."

"If I do, will you stay?" he asked, hope slightly shadowing his tone. Kelly huffed out a merciful laugh.

"In your dreams. I'm not stupid. This has more to do with you and Sasha's unspoken rivalry than it has with me switching gyms.

Am I right?" she inquired, feeling slightly smug. Marty raised his hands in surrender.

"Busted. So it has a little to do with my pride, but I still care about you. As much I'm going to hate Belov's daily morning gloating texts that he stripped me of my star gymnast,

I would hate it if you have a hard time there because you don't belong." Kelly waved his concern away.

"I'm going there to train for the Olympics, not to win a popularity contest. So what if everyone hates me? I want a gold medal, not friends." Marty nodded in defeat, slightly deflating.

"Guess there's nothing I can do to convince you to stay here?"

"Not a thing."

"Then I wish you the best of luck at The Rock. I still expect great things from you Parker. Don't flake out on me," he teased. Kelly rolled her eyes, offering him a smile.

"This is it. Goodbye Marty."

"Expect to see you in gold. Goodbye Parker."

#

Kaylie leaned her head into the crook of Nicky's neck. They fit together like they were meant to. There had never been a time where Kaylie felt more in place in the world than when she was in Nicky's arms. Not with her family. Not with her friends. Not even with Carter. He made her feel special, like somehow she didn't need to be Payson. And for the most part, he choice her over Payson.

Payson Keeler. Every time someone mentioned her name, Kaylie couldn't help but feel her stomach do flips and her heart sink. She knew what she was doing when she kissed Nicky at the Spruce Juice. She didn't do it because she loved him, she did it in spite of Payson. Kaylie didn't know what felt worse, knowing their 'relationship' started on terms of her pretending to fall for him; or actually falling for him.

Kaylie knew when she was falling for a guy, and this was it. Sitting at the doorstep of the Rock, not speaking, just simply enjoying each other's presence. This was how easy it was supposed to be.

"What are you thinking about Princess?" Nicky inquired, slightly twisting strands of her hair in his fingers.

"Just us. This is real isn't it?" Nicky shifted to face her, smiling.

"Of course it's real. Why would you think otherwise?" Kaylie shrugged, not quite sure what her reason was herself.

"I just feel like everything is about Payson, you know? I'm National Champion, and the story of the century is still her injury. I just don't want to wake up one morning and figure out that you still belong to her." Kaylie frowned, knowing the words hadn't come out like she had meant them. She could feel Nicky stiffen, each word she spoke strangling him.

"Kaylie, I'm not Carter, I don't fly around from one girl to another," he spat, clearly irritated with her lack of belief in him. Kaylie shook her head quickly, her eyes as wide as golf balls.

"No! I know you aren't. I just don't want to lose to Payson again. I'm sorry, can we just forget this conversation ever happened?" Nicky relaxed the slightest bit, sighing loudly.

"Yes we can, because I think I'm falling in love with you Kaylie Cruz." Kaylie gasped at the words. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, and her heart pounded away in her chest. She swallowed harshly before offering him a wane smile.

"I think I might be falling for you too, Nicky." She rested her head back into the crook of his neck, knowing things were changing between them. When she was a little girl, her mom used to tell her about princesses and their prince charmings. She had told her that when you found that one person you truly love, everything would be so much clearer.

Kaylie later learned that that wasn't entirely true. She found out that it was possible to fall in love more than once, and each time it got more difficult to see what was real and what wasn't. Sitting beside Nicky Russo, Kaylie knew he cared about her just as much as she cared about him, maybe even more. She could feel it in her heart that he loved her, maybe even more than Payson.

But somehow, she wasn't sure if that was enough.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **Here's the next (longer) chapter guys! A big thanks to your reviews LauraW89, Egyptian Kiss and ! They really kept me going! So a lot happened in this chapter...

Payson got to meet Austin, Payson and Sasha had a talk, Kelly Parker switched gyms, and Kaylie might possibly be falling in love with Payson kinda sorta ex crush.

Well, I'll let you tell me what you thought! You know how happy reviews make me! It really does make my day! :) A quick note of your thoughts would be enough to make me jump for joy! And probably update faster ;)

I'll leave you to it!


	8. As Life Goes On

**A/N **Hey guys! So here's the next chapter, I hope you like it!

* * *

><p>Summery: Nationals changed everything. Having lost her way, Payson turns to the only person she has ever loved to help her find her way back to reality. A story about love and what it means to be a true champion...<p>

* * *

><p><em>"However long the night, the dawn will break." <em>

**_Chapter 7_**

"No," she dead panned, not considering it the least bit. Sasha threw his hands up in exasperation, trying hard to keep a straight face at her petulant expression.

"I'm just saying it would be a good alternate option for you to think about!" Her only response was to grab the water bottle on her night stand and throw it at him. Amused, thanks to his quick thinking athlete reflexes; he caught the water bottle before it collided with his face. He chuckled.

"You know what, dragă, I take it back. As long as you don't throw anything else at me, I promise I take it back," he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. She instantly smiled, lighting her entire expression.

"Good." She looked back down at the crossword which she had been working on for over two hours, with little to no progress. Things had settled down pretty well after her surprise 'party'. As he had promised, Sasha had been with her, every step of the way back from her injury. After coaching at the Rock every morning, he came to visit Payson during lunch, and after the last gymnast exited the Rock, he would be back with ice cream from _Twist_. He had attended every appointment she had with Dr. Chance about her back and even drove her around town on the weekends.

She shifted her gaze to Sasha, who was comfortably lying down beside her on the small twin sized mattress.. For a moment, he continued to stare at her. Payson flinched, breaking him out of his daze.

"What?" she asked, pushing herself up from her back to sit up against the headboard of her small cot. Sasha tilted his head up, not breaking their eye contact

"Sasha just spit it out," she groused, slightly swatting him with her crossword. He chuckled, flipping over onto his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows.

"I still don't understand why you can't work with the NGO. I mean, they send you voicemails and texts about how peachy it would be working there almost every day. I just don't see why it can't be an option." Payson groaned and continued to ponder over her unsolved, almost completely empty, crossword.

12 Down: (Noun) A pain in the ass.

_Sasha Belov,_ she thought, scribbling down the noun into the appropriate boxes. Sasha leaned over to see what she had written down and puffed out a laugh.

"That's just not nice," he stated. "Infliction." Payson smiled.

"See, this is why I keep you around. You're good at cross word puzzles," she said cheekily, pinching his left cheek. Sasha draped an arm loosely over her stomach and watched as the tiniest of smiles bloom on her face.

"What?"

"You still haven't given me a good reason," he said pointedly. Payson rolled her eyes before dropping the crossword onto her lap and crossing her arms tightly in front of her chest.

"Do I need a better reason than 'I don't want to?' It's my decision isn't it? Can I seriously not have control over a single thing in my life?" she groused, throwing her hands up in agitation. Sasha turned over onto his back once again, crossing his arms.

"I know you Payson. You don't do anything without a good reason, and 'I don't want to' just seems like a crap reason." Payson sniggered at his word choice.

"Why don't you leave phrases like 'crap reason' to people who aren't over 20?" she asked playfully, veering the conversation to a safer subject. Sasha groaned.

"Don't try to change the subject."

"Fine," she conceded. "I don't want to do it because I'm going to be stuck in a room with Ellen Beals all day. Knowing her, she's going to try to make me conspire against the Rock, and honestly, I have better things to do with my time."

"Like sit at home all day and mope around?" he asked, slightly irritated at her stubborn attitude. Payson was slightly taken back by his comment. The anger bubbled up inside her. Hurt evident in her features, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to face her.

"What do you expect me to do! I lost the only dream I've ever had. What would you do Sasha? Go work with somebody who hates everything about you and your family just to keep a damn piece of that dream alive?

"Who wants to live like that? Everyday feeling like they betrayed their family for their own selfish reasons?" Payson spat in fury. She thought he would understand, be happy she didn't want to screw him and his job over. The door cracked open the slightest bit, followed by a soft knock.

"Come in Becca," Payson instructed, knowing by instinct who it was. Sasha pulled himself to stand beside her night stand, his gaze remaining on the door. Becca slowly peeked into the room, her eyes immediately falling on Payson's aggravated glare.

"Am I interrupting?" she asked cautiously. Payson huffed, shaking her head. She notices Becca wasn't wearing her leotard or any warm up gear. Frowning, she tilted her head in confusion.

"Are you hurt? Why aren't you at practice? Or in warm up clothes?" Becca opened the door completely and took a tentative step forward, rocking back on her heels.

"I was hoping I could talk to you about something . . . I'm going to change but I thought I could talk to you first," she added quickly. Sasha took the cue and gave her a tight smile.

"I'll wait downstairs. Do you want something to eat Becca?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No it's okay, I'll steal some of Payson's ice cream," she joked lightly. Payson smiled, still confused what her little sister would want to talk about instead of training at the Rock. Sasha nodded, offering Payson a final smile - which she in turn returned with a confused, but still infatuated glare - before shutting the door behind him and scurrying downstairs.

"So what's up, Becs?" Payson asked cheerily, her little sister's presence instantly lifting her spirits. Becca shifted uncomfortably, taking a seat beside her.

"Would you be mad?" she asked. Payson tilted her head.

"Is it National Confuse Payson Keeler Day already? Come on Becs, give me something to work with here. Would I be mad about what?"

"If I . . . went elite?" she asked quickly, so fast it took Payson a moment to process the thought. Elite. Becca wanted to go elite. Becca. Her little sister. The girl who had never been interested in gymnastics. It was more of an activity than a career, or a dream. She wasn't as dedicated to the sport as she was. She didn't want it as much as she did.

When Payson went on runs, Becca called her friends. When Payson stayed for an extra practice, Becca went to the movies. What on earth could inspire Becca Keeler to take on the tough life of an Elite when all she had always wanted was to be a normal teenager?

"I don't have to if you don't want me to, Pay. I don't want to make anything awkward between us . . ." Payson quickly shook her head.

"No, it's just you never seemed like you ever wanted to go Elite . . . What changed your mind now?" Becca shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I just never thought about it till Sasha asked me." Payson slightly raised her eyebrows.

"S-Sasha asked you?"

"He asked if it's what would make me happy," she said nonchalantly, shifting to sit beside her sister. They were enveloped in an awkward silence as Payson contemplated what to say. Many feelings roused in her when she thought about Becca going Elite. She was happy her sister finally found a love for something she was good. at. She was also slightly hurt that Sasha hadn't mentioned anything about this to her, when it could have completely turned her sister's life around. The feeling that raised slowly above the others was jealousy.

She was jealous. Payson Keeler was jealous of her 13 year old sister. She felt bitter as the emotion flushed through her body. It made her feel as though she was a selfish little brat for not being as happy as she should have been for the girl who has always looked up to her.

"Does it?" she finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

"Does it what?"

"Does it make you happy?" A small smile grew on her little sister's face. One of those smiles she gave her dad whenever he announced they were going to Minnesota for a vacation to grandma's old lake house. It was one of those smiles she saved for when she was truly happy. The smile which had grown scarce ever since Payson moved her family out to Boulder. For the first time, Payson saw how much she had taken away from her sister. All she had ever wanted was her approval. She had wanted it enough to leave her life behind and move across the country. Even now, that's all she wanted. And that was one thing she could give Becca, even when she was useless to the gymnastics world.

"Then I'm happy for you."

#

"Maybe you need to straighten your legs on that," Lauren offered, as Kaylie attempted a triple twist dismount off the beam for the hundredth time that evening. She had been trying to solidly land it on her feet since lunch that afternoon, and it quite frankly was getting nowhere. No matter how many different corrections they had tried, every time, it ended with the same results: She landed on her butt.

"Maybe you need to shut up," Kaylie shot back, aggravated that Lauren was even talking to her after what she had done with Carter.

"I'm only trying to help, Kaylie. Face it, we need to stick together since Sasha is around here a lot less than he used to be." Kaylie hated to admit it, but she was right. Sasha was almost always an hour or two late after lunch break, and always managed to sneak out of the gym an hour early before practice ended. God forbid where he went because as far as she heard, no one knows.

"I hate to admit it, but Lauren's right. Until Sasha gets his act together, we need to help each other out, so please, for the sake of your gymnastics, put the whole Carter thing behind you two,

"The last thing we need is more drama," added Emily. Kaylie nodded, giving in to what Lauren had wanted since the unspoken war had begun.

"But we aren't getting anywhere with our own corrections. I mean, we're still gymnasts and we need a coach to work with us. A good head coach. Not Tara or Jake. Where _is_ Sasha anyway?" Emily and Lauren shared a brief glance before turning back to Kaylie. Since when have the two been so close? Ever since the moment Emily stepped foot into the gym, Lauren had been afraid of Emily stealing her thunder. What changed now? Did the two really grow close enough to share information without her acting as their mediator?

"Do you two know?" she asked cautiously, arching her eyebrows.

"He's with Payson," Lauren blurted. Kaylie blinked slowly, slightly hurt that her friends had kept it from her. He was with . . . Payson? He would rather spend time with an ex gymnast than the National Champion? It stung a little knowing that even when she was good enough, she wasn't _really _good enough.

"This is not a tea party ladies. Get moving!" a British voice boomed through the gym. Frazzled, Emily hopped onto the beam beside Kaylie's and began practicing a few back handsprings. Lauren swiftly threw her leg over the beam, stretching her hamstring.

"When did he even get here?" hissed Lauren, as Kaylie fell on her butt once again attempting to complete a skill which was clearly too much for her body to handle.

"Who cares? He's going to grill us if he finds us whining so just start doing something," Emily whispered, finishing a perfect Ariel tumbling pass on the four inches of wood. Lauren silently obligated, making a move for the floor as a level nine finished her final tumbling pass on her new routine.

"Ladies on the National Team, I word in my office," Sasha instructed, doing nothing more than peeking his head from out the cramped office room above the main entrance. Emily groaned and hopped off the beam, followed by Kaylie and Lauren. None of them were looking forward to any of his good will speeches at the moment. Less than six months away from World Trials, the last thing they needed was an unnecessary compulsory sheet, or something along the lines.

"What do you think he wants? Do you think he knows we've been complaining about not having a good coach?" Lauren questioned, as though somehow her and Emily would know what went on in the mind of Sasha Belov.

"He's Sasha Belov. He knows everything," answered Emily, her voice slightly quivering. Kaylie rolled her eyes. He was Sasha Belov, not god. Kaylie fearlessly entered the lion's den, Emily and Lauren following closely behind. In some aspects, it made her feel good to be team captain. At least some one found value in her . . .right?

As they entered the small office room, the first thing they all took notice for were the two additional figures standing by Sasha's desk. Their jaws dropped simultaneously as they took notice of the current 'it' gymnast of the year, Austin Tucker. From his smoldering eyes to his quirky smirk, he was exactly how Kaylie had imagined him to be. Well, not that she had ever imagined meeting Austin Tucker at all. Lauren nudged Kaylie's ribs, hard, breaking her eye contact with the great Austin Tucker.

"What?" she hissed.

"I get that you and Austin Tucker suddenly have some sort of telepathic connection, but guess what the cat dragged in," she gestured over to the devil herself, Kelly Parker. She faced them with the fake, Barbie doll smile she usually reserved for the paparazzi. Kaylie's smile instantly faded as her gaze hit the Former National Champion.

"What is she doing here?" Emily questioned, her voice small and timid. Kelly chuckled and extended a hand out to Emily.

"I haven't actually introduced myself when I wasn't watching you fall face first at the Denver invitational or smack talking you at Nationals have I?

"If introductions are actually necessary, I'm Kelly Parker." She flickered her gaze to Lauren, who looked as though she was ready to claw her eyes out, before continuing.

"And I'm the newest addition to your Rock family," she added cheerily. Kaylie narrowed her gaze at Kelly, then at Sasha.

"You did this?" she questioned Sasha, her voice cracking as the anger bubbled up inside her.

"Of course. I have reason to believe that the current National Champion and former Nation Champion working together could really push both of you to your full potential. That goes for you girls too," he explained, indicating Emily and Lauren.

"How can you make that call? How do you know that we aren't just going to argue like little kids all day?" Sasha huffed out a laugh of amusement and crossed his arms, challenging her.

"I am the head coach aren't I?" Kaylie barked out a merciless laugh, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Head coach? Head coach! You spend all your time with Payson, even though she doesn't even train here, and you have the nerve to call yourself head coach!

"When was the last time you looked Emily's bars routine to know she could up her DOD? When was the last time you saw Lauren perform her floor routine to know she could tighten her core a little more on her last tumbling pass? When was the last time you saw me working on a _triple twist? _A_ triple twist _Sasha!"

"Kaylie stop," Emily admonished, giving her shoulder a tight squeeze. Kaylie took a deep breath, trying to rid her of all the hateful thoughts flushing through her brain. She knew even Sasha didn't deserve the emotions she was feeling.

"Let's go, Kay," Lauren called, getting ready to exit the office. Emily followed, giving Kaylie's wrist a small tug. Before making a move towards the door, Kaylie extended a hand to Austin, who had silently watched her little - well quite large - outburst.

"Not the best way to meet, but I'm Kaylie Cruz. I promise training at the Rock isn't nearly as horrible as I made it out to be," she mumbled, slightly embarrassed for throwing a tantrum. Austin offered her the slightest of smiles and shook her hand.

"I bet it isn't. I'm going to look forward to be training at your gym, Kaylie," he said warmly, his smile melting all her stress and anger away in a flash.

"If you were wondering, I am too," Kelly added, in a sing song voice, for the sole purpose of annoying her. Kaylie rolled her eyes, clearly the words having had taken effect, before glaring at her biggest competition in the United States.

"I'm glad you are, devil horns."

"Anytime, Frauline Cruz." Without sparing Sasha a single glance, she turned a heel and followed Emily and Lauren out of the death trap. She knew Sasha would probably make her live through hell for talking to him like that. She knew that Kelly Parker would probably never let her get any work done what so ever with her constant snippy comments. She knew her triple twist would probably have to be trained right up to the week of Worlds. And to her surprise,

She knew Austin Tucker's gaze never left her till the moment she exited the gym after practice that evening.

#

"Mom, did you see Sasha today?" asked Payson, out of genuine curiosity. Sasha had visited her twice a day, every day for the past two months since her injury, but had surprisingly not been around at all for the past few weeks - well, week and a half if you put it technically. At first, she had assumed he was busy at the Rock with training, but she had taken noticed that he had genuinely avoided every text she had fired him and sent all her calls straight to voice mail. She felt a pang of jealousy at all the Rock girls to have been spending the time with him. Her heart sunk at the thought of him avoiding her, and wondered if she would ever find out what had gone wrong between them.

"Yeah, honey. Anything wrong?" Kim asked, her mother's concerned for her wellbeing instantly comforting her. Payson forced on a smile and shook her head.

"No, it's just he hasn't been here in a while and I was wondering if it had gotten busy at the Rock with new recruits and everything," she blew it over, praying her mother would let it go for this once. She should have known her mother would have taken notice of her odd behavior changes. Kim gave her hand a squeeze and offered her a tight smile.

"Pay, you've been so much happier with him around. Why don't you come by to the Rock with me? Tomorrow I have some work to finish up there, and you can talk to him and all the other girls," she offered. Payson immediately waved away the thought.

"No I'm good. I was just wondering that's all." The truth was, she wanted to talk to Sasha more than the world. She would give anything just for a few moments with him. His funny banter and unusual British matras always had a way of lifting her spirits.

"If you're sure . . ." Payson gave her a tight smile and turned towards the door.

"Honey, where are you going?" she asked, following her daughter out the door, and towards the sidewalk. Payson stopped to take note that her mother was hot on her heels, her mind on only one thing.

"No need to worry mom, I have my phone if you need me and an umbrella in case it's going to rain, I'll be back soon."

"But where are you going?" she asked, still not getting a straight answer.

"A walk. To wherever life takes me," she answered vaguely. Her mother gave a a skeptical glance before conceding with an 'okay' nod.

"Come back before dinner, it looks like it's about to rain soon too," she pointed out, craning her head up to examine the deep grey sky. Payson faintly heard the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance. She nodded and shook the umbrella.

"Again, I got an umbrella. Don't worry mom, I'll be fine," she assured her worried mother. Kim nodded one final time before turning to the direction towards the house.

"Alright. Good bye." One final wistful smile, and Payson was off to her destination. She walked and walked, knowing that that was she could do when a slab of metal surrounded by plastic was holding up your spine from collapsing. The urge to start jogging was overwhelming. She missed the days when she woke up at 4:30 am to go for a jog. It had been a habit since she was before an Elite.

Back in Minnesota, they had a giant family dog. She would take it for jogs and runs ever since she was 6 years of age, and her parents said she could run the neighborhood block. One morning, when she was a lot more tired than usual, she had accidently let their dog run off in front of her. Momentarily releasing the leash from her grasp, the dog ran free, never turning back. She wondered even now how her dog must have been doing.

She wondered if he had been eating six square meals a day as he had when she raised him. She wondered if he barked twice of water and thrice for food to this day. She wondered if he was even with a loving family at all. Maybe he was unlucky, and was wandering the streets alone, looking for people to fit in with.

For once, Payson knew exactly what that would feel like. As she aimlessly walked around different streets, Payson Keeler knew exactly what it felt like to not belong. As the dark, emptiness filled the void of her heart, she pushed her legs as fast as they could to the only person she knew could make sense of it all. She ignored the cold, fat droplets of water which hit her skin. She ignored the sound of adults whispering why a kid in a back brace was walking faster than she should. She ignored as the world felt as though it was closing in on her, making her feel smaller than ever.

There was only one place to go to, and she knew where it was. It was to the recreational vehicle parked outside the Rock. The one and only place where she was certain he would be.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **Wow, that was a faster update than I had planed. Thank you a million times to LauraW89 and Alix1234 for your awesome reviews. It really sped up the updating process! I literally spent last night handing out candy with one hand and typing with the other as I wrote this chapter. Yes, Halloween makes me slightly crazy. Too much chocolate ;)

So, Becca and Payson talked about going Elite, Kaylie met Austin (well had an outburst with him in the room) and, well, screamed her head off at Sasha. Let's all guess why Sasha didn't visit Payson after that outburst. . . shocker. Next up, will probably be more Kaylie/Austin interaction and some good ol' Payson/Sasha confrontations.

If you haven't reviewed . . . PLEASE DO! It will make me tremendiously happy! Just click the little button and leave me your thoughts! Also, check out my new story, Recipe for Disaster, for some fun drabble of our fave couple!

Happy Halloween, you know what to do!


End file.
